


Earl Gray and Add-On purchases

by LyingInSpirals



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon who? no canon here, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, M/M, Mechs Jon cause its whats holding my small littol heart together in these trying times, Pining, Some random messaging app that has add-on purchases, Texting, The Mechanisms Were The Archivist's College Band, This was supposed to be focused on the gc part but now its a fully fledged mechs jon fic, Twitter, a lot of pining, fuck canon past s1, martin can stay at jons if i want him to, mostly jon and martin, occasional worms, okay so theres a lot of plot now but no death. sasha is sasha. fuck sadness it all gets resolved, tim's just yearning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 27,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyingInSpirals/pseuds/LyingInSpirals
Summary: Group chat has been created.Tim Stonks has added Marson, SishSash and J.Sims to the chat.TimStonks: hellooooo my dear coworkers!!!!SishSash: im already so done with thisMarson: Um? Guys? What is thisJ.Sims: I would like to know too, actually.Group has been Renamed “Archive buddies!”TimStonks: isnt it obvious????? a work gc ofc!-Chatfic with a topping of twitter, sprinkles of 'no ones dead nope never happened' and a ridiculous amount of mechanisms Jon, i swear it didn't start like this. now with added JonMarTim. Gay asses.
Relationships: Annabelle Cane/Jane Prentiss, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Elias Bouchard/Jonah Magnus, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Tim Stoker
Comments: 1103
Kudos: 1136





	1. Earl Gray and Add-On purchases

**Author's Note:**

> this is entirely self indulgent and was written when i pulled a peter lukas on myself and gave myself a bit of that self inflicted loneliness
> 
> usernames:
> 
> J.Sims: Jon  
> SishSash: Sasha  
> Marson: Martin  
> TimStonks: Tim  
> Elias Bitchard: Elias  
> Plukas: Peter Lukas  
> Vast is the Sexiest: Simon Fairchild

_Groupchat has been created._

_Tim Stonks has added Marson, SishSash and J.Sims to the chat._

  
  
  


**TimStonks:** hellooooo my dear coworkers!!!!

**SishSash:** im already so done with this

**Marson:** Um? Guys? What is this

**J.Sims:** I would like to know too, actually.

_Group has been Renamed “ **Archive buddies!** ” _

**TimStonks:** isnt it obvious????? a work gc ofc!

**J.Sims:** Please, you expect me to think you’re actually invested in your work enough to make a group chat about it?

**SishSash:** OO ROASTED

**TimStonks:** woW HOW DARE U BOSS

**TimStonks:** AFTER I GO THROUGH ALL THIS EFFORT TO MAKE A REALLY NICE SPACE TO TALK ABOUT WORK?? smh offended

**J.Sims:** Well, I could just leave.

**TimStonks:** nO U CANT D OTHAT

**Marson:** Um… Shouldn’t we invite Elias too…?

**J.Sims:** No.

**TimStonks** : No.

**SishSash** : No.

**Marson** : Ah.. I’m sorry!

**J.Sims:** It’s alright Martin, Just a bad suggestion.

**J.Sims:** Anyways, back to work everyone! I see one of you on your phone and I’m sending you to research.

**TimStonks:** AY AY

**Marson:** Of course! I’ll be around in 5 with your cup of tea, Jon x

**J.Sims:** Thank you, Martin.

**TimStonks:** hah simp

**J.Sims:** Tim. Back to work.

**SishSash:** Jon got a statement for you! I’ll pop by your office in a bit!

**J.Sims:** Thank you, Sasha!

_J.Sims,Tim Stonks, SishSash, and Marson are offline_

* * *

**"Capitalist boomers"**

**Elias Bitchard:** Tell me how to change it back, Simon.

**Vast is the Sexiest:** haha no 

**Elias Bitchard:** Simon.

**Vast is the Sexiest:** bitchard.

**Plukas:** What… exactly have i logged on to?

**Elias Bitchard:** PETER PLEASE CHANGE MY USERNAME BACK I’LL MARRY YOU AGAIN

**Plukas:** Oh? Only if you propose, this time.

**Elias Bitchard:** Peter please

**Vast is the Sexiest:** aww look at u running to ur sweetheart

**Elias Bitchard:** Ex-Husband. Get it right.

  
  
 **Plukas:** So I’m assuming you’ll be staying with that nickname?

**Elias Bitchard:** Ugh

**Elias Bitchard:** Peter Plukas, will you do me the honor of marrying me again?

**Plukas:** Hmm… I’m not sure, you seem quite unmotivated.

**Elias Bitchard:** I proposed! Its either yes or no, Peter!

**Plukas:** Fine, Wedding is on my ship this time. 

_Plukas has changed Elias Bitchard’s name to Blias_

**Blias:** PETER

**Plukas:** What?

**Plukas:** I never said i’d change it back to what it was!

**Blias:** I want another divorce.

_Blias is offline._

**Vast is the Sexiest:** Honestly watching this is the highlight of my day.

* * *


	2. Green Tea and Roasting your boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon has a twitter and Martin commits arson.

**Jonathan Simp** @JonnyD

I have never wanted to quit my job more

**↳ Bassira.** @ashes

You good Jonny boy?

**↳ Jonathan Simp** @JonnyD

First of all don’t call me that second of all TIM put TABASCO in my TEA

**↳ Bassira.** @ashes

Lmao i like this Tim dude already

**↳ Elias Bouchard** @MisterBouchard

If you wanted to quit that much, Jon, You should have set up a meeting with me.

**↳ Jonathan Simp** @JonnyD

No offence Elias, but are you allowed to stalk your employees on social media?

  
  


* * *

**"Archive buddies!"**

**TimStonks:** YO SASH TURN ON THE MINECRAFT SERVER

**SishSash:** geez, again tim? I might just as well give you the perms

**J.Sims:** Excuse me? Are you playing _Minecraft_ during _Work hours_?

**TimStonks:** Uh. No?

**SishSash:** did you really download an extension for this dumb messaging app to be able to italicize your texts

**J.Sims:** …

**Marson:** …

**SishSash:** …

**TimStonks:** what a loser

**J.Sims:** Sigh… Well, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work.

**SishSash:** nice subject change

**J.Sims:** shut up

**J.Sims:** Ah, also, Martin?

**Marson:** Yes Jon?

**J.Sims:** What exactly does your username mean? I’ve been wondering for a while

**Marson:** Oh! 

**Marson:** well

**Marson:** uh

**J.Sims:** ?

**Marson:** Its a mix between Martin and arson?

**J.Sims:** …

**J.Sims:** I don’t know what i expected coming from you

**TimStonks:** Hey! Don’t be an ass to marto! 

**Marson:** Its fine tim!

**J.Sims:** I was simply stating an observation.

**J.Sims:** Anyways, I, will be getting back to work. I suggest you do too. Now.

**J.Sims:** Oh, and Martin? It would be preferable if you didn’t commit arson in the archives, thank you. 

_J.Sims is offline._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to put this in the last chapter but if you want to chat to me my social media is
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals or @goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed <3


	3. Chamomile Tea and Lost statements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vast is the Sexiest has changed Blias’ username to Plukas’ sugar baby.
> 
> Plukas’ sugar baby: Simon.
> 
> Plukas’ sugar baby: Simon change it back.
> 
> Vast is the Sexiest has gone offline.
> 
> Plukas’ sugar baby: SIMON FAIRCHILD.

**"Archive buddies!"**

**J.Sims:** Sasha, have you seen case file 0150409?

**SishSash:** nope!

**J.Sims:** Tim, Martin?

**TimStonks:** havent seen it

**TimStonks:** didnt u file it in ur not real pile?

**J.Sims:** Not to my knowledge, no.

**Marson:** It's with me! I'll bring it to your office, I’m just making tea xx

**J.Sims:** Do be careful not to spill it this time.

**SishSash:** Jon, It was an honest mistake.

**J.Sims:** We are working in an environment with statements that are over 100 years old, there's no place to be clumsy.

**Marson:** sorry jon 

_Martin is offline._

**SishSash:** Jon. Stop being so harsh on him!

**J.Sims:** I’m doing my job. 

_J.Sims is offline_

  
  
  


**TimStonks:** what a dick

**SishSash:** Tim!

**TimStonks:** what? im right!!!

**SishSash** : Just get back to work

_SishSash and TimStonks are offline._

* * *

  
  


**Private Message to** **_Teagiver (Martin Blackwood)_ **

**J.Sims:** Martin, are you coming into work or do we need to have an impromptu meeting about not showing up unannounced ?

**Marson:** I apologize. I am stuck at home, seems i have caught a... bug. 

**J.Sims:** Oh, alright. Please do send a message or an email next time. 

**Marson:** Of course. Will be seeing you soon.

* * *

**"Archive buddies!"**

  
  


**TimStonks:** yo does anyone know where martin is???

**SishSash:** I haven’t seen him since he went to investigate that carlos vittery guy’s house

**J.Sims:** I texted him yesterday, he’s stuck at home with a nasty illness it seems.

**TimStonk:** damn, hope he feels better soon!

**TimStonks:** he hasnt been answering my texts

**SishSash:** mine either ://

**J.Sims:** He replied to my mine, but I suppose it might have been since I _did_ threaten him with a disciplinary meeting, though. 

**SishSash:** you’re really milking that add-on you probably spent 3 quid on

**J.Sims:** _shut up_

* * *

**“Capitalist Boomers”**

**Blias:** Peter. Where are my Gucci slides.

**Plukas** : How many times have I told you that I don’t care you

**Plukas:** I clicked send too early, I was about to say: I don’t care about your ‘Gucci slides’.

**Bllias:** I hate you.

_Vast is the Sexiest has changed Blias’ username to Plukas’ sugar baby._

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Simon.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Simon change it back.

_Vast is the Sexiest has gone offline._

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** SIMON FAIRCHILD.

**Plukas** : Sigh. 

_Plukas and Plukas’ sugar baby have gone offline._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry about the inconsistent formatting im too lazy to go back on my previous chapters and check how i did it 
> 
> anyways my socials  
> insta: @goodbye.spirits / @lyinginspirals  
> twitter: @goodbyespirits


	4. Vanilla Tea and Inviting your boss out with the gang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worms. And drinks!

**"Archive buddies!"**

**J.Sims:** well.

**SishSash:** thats… fuck worms

**TimStonks:** martin you are the bravest person i know holy shit

**J.Sims:** You are alright, right, Martin?

**Marson:** yes yes don’t worry! im. im okay

**J.Sims:** Don’t be afraid to ask if you need anything

**TimStonks:** wow jons being nice for once

**SishSash:** Tim, not the time. 

**J.Sims:** Its fine Sasha

**J.Sims:** I think we should all rest up, alright?

**Marson:** You’re right, thanks again for letting me stay at yours, Jon

**J.Sims:** It’s no problem, really

**TimStonks:** wait

**TimStonks:** wait wait wait what

**SishSash:** Tim.

**TimStonks:** ugh fine

**TimStonks:** gnight squad

**J.Sims:** Good night, all of you, rest up properly.

_J.Sims,TimStonks, SishSash, and Marson are offline_

* * *

  
  


**"Archive buddies!"**

**SishSash:** i cant believe i spent the last week drawing that stupid office plant on post it notes and sticking them on jon’s door and he STILL hasnt noticed

**TimStonks:** lmao what a loser

**J.Sims:** What????

**J.Sims:** _Sasha._

**J.Sims:** I mean, they’re not bad drawings, far from it, but you are _supposed to be working_

**TimStonks:** did you seriously not notice

**TimStonks:** holy shit boss wow

**J.Sims:** Did you really think i just sat there and let them pile up if i knew about them?

**Marson:** Doesn’t seem too unprobable, actually.

**J.Sims:** Why is everyone in this office against me

**TimStonks:** you couuuuld come out and hang out with us!!! cmon! 

**J.Sims:** Why do you insist so much? I’m your boss it would be unprofessional!

**SishSash:** get that stick out of your ass jon you and tim worked together for ages and we’ve been gossip buddies for long enough that you should feel comfortable going out and getting drunk with us

**Marson:** yeah! I’d be nice to hang out a bit i guess? 

**J.Sims:** I guess i can come

**TimStonks:** fuck yeah!!!!

**J.Sims:** language.

**J.Sims:** Anyways back to work everyone.

  
  


_J.Sims,TimStonks, SishSash, and Marson are offline_

* * *


	5. Oolong Tea and Being in a band you don't want your coworkers to find out about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band problem

**"Archive buddies!"**

**TimStonks:** BOSS HOLY SHIT I DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD SING LIKE THAT

**J.Sims:** tim _shut the fuck_ up you’re being to loud

**SishSash:** we’re texting

**SishSash:** also thats ur fault for getting drunk as fuck

**J.Sims:** ugh

**Marson:** Would you like me to bring you some tea? 

**J.Sims:** please i could actually kiss you rn 

**Marson:** of course be rigth there! x

**J.Sims:** also please do never mention me singing ever again

**TimStonks:** awww embarrassed?

**J.Sims:** No. It's simply unprofessional. 

**SishSash:** look at him, he's shy

**J.Sims:** _Sasha._

**Marson:** If it's anything, I thought your singing was great Jon!!

**J.Sims:** Ah, thank you Martin :)

**SishSash:** holy shit you used a smiley face who are you and what did you do with jonathan sims

**J.Sims:** Sasha i will throttle you 

**TimStonks:** chill boss we wont make fun of you!! martin isnt kidding tho you actually sing super good

**TimStonks:** ur singing voice seems familiar tho??? have you been in a band or smth?

**J.Sims:** no

**J.Sims:** why would be in a band

**J.Sims:** im not in a band

**TimStonks:** woah there you dont need to be so defensive

**SishSash:** are you hiding something jon :)??

**J.Sims:** sasha i will actually murder you and hide you somewhere deep in artifact storage and replace you with a copy so no one will notice

**Marson:** huh?? did i miss something? Also your tea’s ready!

**J.Sims:** nothing, nothing at all! also I’ll be there in a moment, thank you.

**TimStonks:** jon was being super defensive when i-

**TimStonks:** oh shit hes speedwalking to my desk

_TimStonks and J.Sims are offline._

**SishSash:** rip tim ig

**Marson:** What were they on about?

**SishSash:** Jon probably wasn't kidding when he said he’d throttle me sorry Martie :(

**Marson:** Its ok!! It’s probably nothing important then! 

**Marson:** I’ll be over with tea in a few! xx 

**SishSash:** Thanks! <33333

_Marson and SishSash are offline._

* * *

**“Pump me boys”**

**J.Sims:** basira

**J.Sims:** basira help

**DaisyFan69:** Sims, I’ll help you when you give me my admin perms back

**J.Sims:** nevermind 

**J.Sims:** nikola please

**MoisturizeMe:** yeees~?

**J.Sims:** how do i convince my coworkers i wasnt in a band

**DaisyFan69:** how do you even get into that situation holy fuck

**J.Sims:** okay so they bullied me into going out with them for a few drinks and tim dragged us to a karaoke bar and basically i got drunk and sang drunken sailor and tim said it sounded familiar and i freaked out im pretty sure he might have recognized my voice? i dont want my coworkers to find out about my band !!!!!!!!! im supposed to be dark and serious they cant see me as that if they know im an _immortal space pirate occasionally on the weekends!!_

**DaisyFan69:** did

**DaisyFan69:** did you really buy an extension to fucking slant your texts

**J.Sims:** _shut up dont mention that help me with my issue_

**MoisturizeMe:** Jon, sweetie, just tell theemmm!

**J.Sims:** nikola you are no help.

**J.Sims:** why did i bother asking here you guys are the worst.

**MoisturizeMe:** Jon, you’re a coward, and this is coming from a plastic mannequin 

**J.Sims:** i still dont know why you refer to yourself as a plastic mannequin, but i respect your gender nikola, also fuck no 

**MoisturizeMe:** :(

**MoisturizeMe:** Well, I’m off! Skin to steal, people to terrorize!

**MoisturizeMe:** Don’t forget to moisturize! And say hi to Elias, if i can call him Elias? 

**J.Sims:** You know Elias????

_MoisturizeMe is offline_

**DaisyFan69:** lol what did u expect sims its nikola

**J.Sims:** shut up

_J.Sims is offline._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day?? wow, shocking
> 
> also if anyone is confused, jonny sims, like, the real one, was in a band called the mechanisms!! basically they role played as immortal space pirates and their albums are retellings of classic myths n stories in steampunk style! Jonny, predictably, named his fucking character jonny d'ville  
> so now im making it that jon used to be in the mechs in college and still does gigs sometimes :)
> 
> Also martin is a mega big fan and forces tim to listen to them with him :)))
> 
> Oh! And Basira and Nikola's VAs used to be in the mechs too! Ashes O'Reilly and Toy solider respectively
> 
> Check them out! https://themechanisms.com/


	6. Hibiscus Tea and the Avatar group chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon gets booty called

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im going to start putting the usernames or itll get confusing:
> 
> TimStonks: Tim
> 
> J.Sims: Jon
> 
> Marson: Martin
> 
> SishSash: Sasha
> 
> Plukas: Peter Lukas
> 
> Plukas’ sugar baby: Elias
> 
> Vast is the Sexiest: Simon Fairchild
> 
> Worms: Jane Prentiss
> 
> Muffet: Annabelle Cane
> 
> Flash: Mike Crew

**Private message to archivist :/**

**Marson:** Jon, i would like to hang out sometime, maybe?

**J.Sims:** Martin got a new phone.

**J.Sims:** I’m assuming this is Jane Prentiss, then?

**Marson:** hm

**Marson:** You’re smarter than i expected, archivist

_Marson has changed username to Worms_

**J.Sims:** What do you want

**Worms:** Well, frankly just a little fun.

**Worms:** The worms are my family but it can get lonely sometimes :(

**J.Sims:** Are you… “booty calling” me?

**Worms:** God no I’m a lesbian

**Worms:** I take it back, you’re not that smart, I’d expect more from someone working for an all knowing eldritch being

**J.Sims:** A what? Are you talking about Elias?

**J.Sims:** Why do so many people know my boss

**Worms:** Well, we do have a group chat

**Worms:** But I don’t think you qualify for it yet, my dear archivist.

**J.Sims:** Why do you keep calling me archivist???

**J.Sims:** And a group chat? What do you mean i don’t qualify??

_Worms is offline_

**J.Sims:** What was the point of this conversation??

* * *

**“No Annabelle we can’t name the chat spider gang”**

**Worms:** bouchard your new archivist is stupid

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Why are you talking to my Archivist, you’ll mess up my plans!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Also i beg of you someone show me how to change my nickname in this godforsaken app

**Vast is the Sexiest:** please dont this is the funniest thing ive ever done

**Muffet:** elias, sweetheart, now that we know your plans were just gonna muck em up more

**Flash:** does he even know about Smirk’s 14 yet

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Of course he does, Mike! Also Annabelle don’t you dare!

**Worms:** He doesn’t 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** jANE

**Worms:** what? he's fun but he's very fucking stupid. my worms are smarter than him

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Don’t you DARE tell him

**Muffet:** that just makes us want to tell him more!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Listen, i have a very long winded plan that includes framing jon for the murder of jurgen leitner and gertrude 7 months after Jane attacks the institute then feeding him statements for him to figure out how to stop Nikola’s dumb ritual and leading him along on a wild goose chase around America!

**Worms:** now im just not going to attack the institute

**MoisturizeMe:** Hey now! I spent a long time planning it, don’t you dare try to disrupt it! >.<

**MoisturizeMe:** And I’ve known Jon for yeaaars! He wouldn’t do that to little ol’ me!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** What do you MEAN you know Jon???

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Also Jane please we have a deal you can’t back out now

**MoisturizeMe:** Yes! We were in a band! Well, we still perform sometimes!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** And Jon doesn't know about you being a literal mannequin?

**MoisturizeMe:** Well, I’ve told him many time that I aaaam, but he thinks its my… What was it?

**MoisturizeMe:** Gender!

**Worms:** Seems like something he would do, he thought i was straight?

**Muffet:** what a dumbass lol

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I can’t believe I’m being BULLIED for my choice in archivist

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** HARASSED

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** (peter this is your queue to come and defend me)

_Plukas is online_

**Plukas:** Why did you call me just to come online, little man?

**Plukas:** Oh. 

**Muffet:** AHAHAHA LITTLE MAN

**Worms:** I can’t believe thats ur petname for him

**Plukas:** It’s not a petname, It’s an insult!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I hate this fucking family

_Plukas’ sugar baby is offline_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can tell how bad im self isolating myself from all of my friends by the amount of chapters i post in like 2 days
> 
> anyways my socials:  
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> I forgot i had a tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	7. Herbal Tea and Platonically inviting your boss out to see your favorite band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mechanisms @TheMechanisms
> 
> New London show soon - with some new songs to boot!  
> https://themechanisms.com 
> 
> ↳ Martin (flame emoji) @Blackwoods  
> Oh!!! Tim we have to go!! @StokedAF
> 
> ↳ Sexiest Assistant @StokedAF  
> Fuck yeah! We should invite the rest of the squad!

**The Mechanisms** @TheMechanisms

New London show soon - with some new songs to boot!

[ https://themechanisms.com ](https://themechanisms.com)

**↳ Martin (flame emoji)** @Blackwoods

Oh!!! Tim we have to go!! @StokedAF

**↳ Sexiest Assistant** @StokedAF

Fuck yeah! We should invite the rest of the squad!

  
  
  


* * *

**“Archive buddies!”**

**Marson:** Guys!!!! My favorite band is in town!!!!

**Marson:** Me and Tim are going! You guys should come too, I swear they're super cool!

**SishSash:** Why not! Sounds fun!

**J.Sims:** Oh? What band is it, if i may ask?

**Marson:** The mechanisms!! They're great! 

**Marson:** Basically, they’re immortal space pirates, and their albums each tell a story, like Greek mythology and stuff!

**Marson:** I never had the chance to actually see them live, but I’ve seen all the shows online, I’m super excited!!

**TimStonks:** woah there marto, chill a bit

**Marson:** Ahh sorry sorry!

**SishSash:** Oh that sounds super cool! I’m definitely coming along then :)

**SishSash:** What about you, Jon? :)

**J.Sims:** uh

**J.Sims:** well

**J.Sims:** I’ll be busy that day! 

**TimStonks:** martin didn’t say when it was??

**J.Sims:** I looked online! 

**Marson:** Aw :( 

**J.Sims:** Sorry, Martin…

* * *

**Private Message to Timmy!**

**Marson:** Tim, do you think the rambling put jon off?????

**TimStonks:** no way! I think he’s just a loser whos too scared to say no

**Marson:** hhhHHHH I just wanted him to come see my favorite band with me :((

**_[Message not sent] TimStonks:_ ** ~~_you should stop trying so hard for him, Marto, he’s not worth it_ ~~

**TimStonks:** Hey, maybe next time!

**Marson:** yeah :((

* * *

**Private message to sasha**

**J.Sims:** saSHA

**SishSash:** this is your problem, Jon

**SishSash:** whats so bad about them finding out you were in the mechs?

**SishSash:** martin would probably be overjoyed!!!

**J.Sims:** WHAT IF HE THINKS IM NOT COOL ENOUGH TO BE IN THE MECHS??????

**J.Sims:** I CANT DO THIS I CANT DO THIS IM NOT GOING

**SishSash:** Jon you’re going.

**J.Sims:** i cant!

**SishSash:** You’re going.

**J.Sims:** ugh fine

**SishSash:** hey, who do you think Martin’s fav mech is

**J.Sims:** Ashes maybe?? With the arson and all

**SishSash:** I think its Jonny :)))

**J.Sims:** no way

**SishSash:** I’ll ask!

**J.Sims:** NO

* * *

**“Archive buddies”**

**SishSash:** Hey martin, i was looking into the mechs, whos your fav?

**Marson:** Oh!! It’s Jonny D’ville!! He’s like the coolest!

**Marson:** He’s the first mate of the Mechs!!!

**Marson:** Ashes is a close second though, i love them so much!

**Marson:** But Jonny’s voiceee aHHh

**TimStonks:** okay simp lmao

**Marson:** TIM!!!!!!

* * *

**Private message to sasha**

**J.Sims:** why. why do you torture me so

**SishSash:** Told u so

**SishSash:** tho how he hasnt figured out that ur jonny from ur voice alone is surprising

**J.Sims:** sasha i swear to god i will actually murder you

**SishSash:** am i wrong?

**SishSash:** It must be all the pining. 

**J.Sims:** as i’ve told you before, there’s no chance Martin is _Pining_ after me, he’s interested in Tim!

**SishSash:** oblivious dumbasses.

_SishSash is offline_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, i will not shut up about mechs jon. Its MY kin i decide what to do with it
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits (i just posted a fun lil animatic about elias on @lyinginspirals you could check that out pshht)
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> by the way i have like. an entire plot line for this now that i wasnt expecting. so i made a simplified timeline of all the major events in tma and well it took me longer than writing like half of this fic did. i hope u guys appreciate my hard work its all i have. 
> 
> Also would yall be interested in written out chapters?? cause i have ideas. especially on the jonmartim side :)


	8. Lemon Tea and He called my house HOME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baseless ghost stories and forgotten laptops

**"Archive buddies!"**

**TimStonks:** holy shit jon was that melanie king from ghost hunt uk???

**J.Sims:** Yes, why?

**TimStonks:** dude!!!!!!!!! im such a big fan of her show

**J.Sims:** Really? I wouldn’t have expected you to watch baseless ghost story shows where mostly everything is fake.

**TimStonks:** jon we work at the magnus institute

**TimStonks:** our job is investigating baseless ghost stories

**J.Sims:** _oh shut up_

**SishSash:** Isnt she the one who does the What the ghost podcast??

**J.Sims:** No, thats Georgie Barker

**TimStonks:** i thought u didnt listen to “baseless ghost stories”

**J.Sims:** I dont. She’s just….

**J.Sims:** We were friends in college.

**TimStonks:** oh??? huh i thought ur college life would have been quite boring

**J.Sims:** You thought wrong.

**SishSash:** You’ve gotta see the pics Tim, he really went batshit

**J.Sims:** _Sasha James don’t you fucking dare._

**Marson:** Why do i always log on to Jon threatening to murder someone

**J.Sims:** Watch it Martin, or you’ll be next.

**Marson:** Well there, i suppose you’ll have to go the day without your laptop that you forgot at home ://

**J.Sims:** I take it back Martin, can i have my laptop.

**SishSash:**.

**J.Sims:** please

**Marson:** Sasha!! Theres no need

**Marson:** I’ll bring it with your tea! xx

_Marson is offline_

* * *

**Private message to sasha**

**J.Sims:** _he called my house home sasha_

**SishSash:** you’re pathetic jon

**SishSash:** You’ve gotta be nicer to him! You can't just act like an ass because you’re too afraid that he’ll figure out that you have a crush on him

**J.Sims:** Its not a crush!

**J.Sims:** Also no i cant everytime i try i completely shut down

**SishSash:** thats because you’re emotionally repressed 

**J.Sims:** _fuck off_

_J.Sims is offline_

**SishSash:** You can’t avoid the truth forever!!!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it the mental illness or is it being emotionally repressed? Who knows? Definitely not jon
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits 
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	9. Jasmin Tea and Asking your ex to help you with your makeup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon might get murdered by Melanie king who knows

**Private message to Catmiral’s Mom (Georgie!!)**

**J.Sims:** GEORGIEEEE

**WhatTheGeorgie:** what do you want

**WhatTheGeorgie:** im not letting you “borrow” the admiral again

**J.Sims:** Its not that i swear

**J.Sims:** so you know the mechs show next weekend

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Yes, the one I helped you organize

**J.Sims:** shshhhshshhh

**J.Sims:** anyways do you have an idea of i can make my makeup look like jonny but not like me

**WhatTheGeorgie:** wym

**J.Sims:** Like Jonny D’ville. but not Jonathan Sims head archivist of the magnust institute

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Oh you got promoted?? congrats!

**J.Sims:** YOU CAN CONGRATULATE ME LATER

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Why exactly do you need to…. Not look like Jonathan Sims

**J.Sims:** okay basically so.

**WhatTheGeorgie:** so?

**J.Sims:** Mycutecoworkerisgoingandhesafanofthemechsandimnervoushellthinkimnotcoolenoughandjonnyishisfavoritebutimnothinglikejonnyhelp

**WhatTheGeorgie:** I hate when you type like that

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Why would he hate you??? Also now i just wanna meet your coworkers

**J.Sims:** please dont also i am _nowhere near as cool as i pretend to be when i’m jonny and he will think that im a loser and then think jonny is a loser and i actually want to impress him?????_

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Im…. why did you buy the-

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Im just not gonna mention it

**J.Sims:** please dont ive been bullied about it twice already

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Anyways, I dont think there’s a way to make you not look like yourself but i could probably ask Melanie if she has any tips?

**J.Sims:** Melanie King?????

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Oh, you know her??

**J.Sims:** yeah

**J.Sims:** uh

**J.Sims:** I took her statement a while back

**WhatTheGeorgie:** oh cool!

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Oh i have an idea

**J.Sims:** please no

* * *

_WhatTheGeorgie has created a groupchat_

_WhatTheGeorgie has renamed the groupchat “Ghost Squad”_

_WhatTheGeorgie has added MelQueen_

**J.Sims:** Georgie why

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Hah

**WhatTheGeorgie:** You wanted makeup help!

**MelQueen:** georgie whos that

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Jonathan Sims! He told me you met!

**MelQueen:** oh great

**J.Sims:** ah… Hello Melanie

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Now i get my two best friends in a group chat!!

**MelQueen:** Frankly I had no idea you knew a pompous asshole like Sims, Gee

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Don’t worry It’s a facade hes just dumb and has anxiety

**J.Sims:** hey fuck you

**MelQueen:** Howd you meet?? I find it hard to believe its bcs of wtg

**WhatTheGeorgie:** We met in college!! Hes my ex technically but yknow

**MelQueen:** wow you must have hit a new low

**J.Sims:** 1\. im still in this group chat 2. i used to be cool, melanie

**MelQueen:** you??? cool?? also key words used to

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Oh, Mel, remember that Mechs concert i told you i was helping to organize??

**MelQueen:** yeah but what does that have to do with anything??

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Jons the lead singer!!!

**J.Sims:** why do you insist on exposing me like this

**MelQueen:** no way

**MelQueen:** no fucking way 

**J.Sims:** well… yes

**MelQueen:** theres no way a fucking librarian ass dude is the lead singer of the mechs

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Actually, thats why i made this group chat!!! Jon needs makeup advice on how to not look like himself but still look like jonny dville

**MelQueen:** why would you even have to do that

**J.Sims:** no reason nope none at all

**MelQueen:** Jon you’re a terrible liar even over text

**WhatTheGeorgie:** His cute coworker is going and he doesnt want him to recognise him

**J.Sims:** _Georgie._

**MelQueen:** oh which one?? Martin?? ye ur right he is cute

**MelQueen:** why wouldnt you want him to know he seems sweet he made me tea

**J.Sims:** thats not information im willing to divulge 

**WhatTheGeorgie:** he thinks martin? will think hes a loser after he finds out

**J.Sims:** Yes, It’s Martin

**MelQueen:** you didnt deny it

**J.Sims:** _shut up_

**MelQueen:** lol loser

**J.Sims:** im going to ask nikola

**WhatTheGeorgie:** good luck with that shes just gonna tell you to get new skin

**J.Sims:** _its better help than you two_

_J.Sims is offline_

**MelQueen:** hes a mess

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Told you so

_J.Sims is online_

**J.Sims:** Guys i fucking forgot

**WhatTheGeorgie:**??

**J.Sims:** He’s staying at my flat rn cause his apartment has a bug infestation

**J.Sims:** the apartment i have to do my makeup. and get ready at. because there's no green room at the concert hall 

**J.Sims:** im fucked

**MelQueen:** DFSSDASFG THATS THE FUNNIEST SHIT IVE HEARD ALL DAY OH MY GOD SIMS

**WhatTheGeorgie:** I- how the hell do you even get into these situations.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The depression be hitting hard in the house tonight but heres my fav ghost gfs
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	10. Barley Tea and Hopelessly pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you need to listen to your crush ramble about the album you wrote

Jon threw his phone to the side and sighed helplessly as he flopped onto the couch, wincing as he landed on the phone he had just thrown. Martin looked up from the book he was reading, sitting on the dusty brown armchair to the side of the couch. 

“Are you okay, Jon?” 

Jon just nodded, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Yes.” He did not look okay. Martin gave him a pointed look. 

“Your dramatics say otherwise!” 

Jon glared at him. “It's nothing, just… I have plans for next weekend and my best friend isn't really helping me with something.” 

Martin closed his book and put it on the table. “Oh? Anything I can help with?” Jon’s face reddened as he shook his head. 

“Uh… Nope! It’s… I’ll figure it out!” He internally winced as his voice came out squeaky. The blond raised an eyebrow.

“Are you… Sure? I mean, you seem nervous about it?” 

Jon blinked. “It’s nothing big, really, just a little mishap.” He awkwardly combed through his mind to find something to divert the subject. “So, what’s your book about?” 

Martin lit up, picking it up, the turquoise colour donned with golden text reading _Ulysses._ “You know I mentioned that band that Tim, Sasha, and I are going to see right? My favorite album is called _Ulysses Dies at Dawn_ and I wanted to look more into it! I just started it so I can’t say much about the actual book, but the album is amazing! It's completely different to the actual mythology, and…” At this point, Jon was bright red, and completely lost focus on Martin’s rambling. About _Ulysses Dies at Dawn._ One of the albums he had written. It was strange, hearing his cru--... his coworker rant about something he’d made so passionately. He wanted to frame the sparkle in Martin’s eyes as he waved his hands excitedly and explained the premise of the first few songs. 

Suddenly, Martin stopped, and his face reddened, looking down at his hands. “Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble that much…” Jon sat up. 

“No no, It's alright Martin! I enjoy hearing about something you’re so passionate about!” He couldn’t be any redder at this point as he realized how desperate he must have sounded. Martin just looked up, awkwardly mumbled something Jon could not make out and stood up. 

“I’ll… Go make us a cup of tea!” He walked out of the room, looking flustered. 

Jon hid his face in his hands, and sighed. “I’m a complete mess.”

In the kitchen, Martin took out his phone.

* * *

**Private Message to Timmy!**

**Marson:** Tim

**Marson:** Tim

**Marson:** Tim

**TimStonks:** woah there

**TimStonks:** whats up?

**Marson:** okay so jon asked about the book i was reading, you know the one i got when we went to that bookshop?

**TimStonks:** the one you got cause you wanted to know more about the stories in udad?

**Marson:** yes that one! basically jon asked what i was reading and i did that thing where i rambled to him and i think i may have made him uncomfortable? but when i apologised he said LIKED hearing about things im passionate about!!!! IM!!!! TIM I THOUGHT HE WAS HUMORING ME DO YOU THINK HE WAS SERIOUS

**TimStonks:** to be honest marto that doesnt sound like jon

**TimStonks:** but maybe he found it endearing! its cute when u do that!

**Marson:** really??? do you think jon thinks its cute??

**TimStonks:** definitely!! 

**TimStonks:** i gtg now im hanging out with sash but ill ttyl! maybe try talking to jon more instead of hiding behind a cup of tea! ;)

**Marson:** Tim!!!!

_TimStonks is offline_

* * *

Tim looked up from his phone to Sasha raising an eyebrow at him. 

“What was that all about?” She questioned. “Nothing much, just Martin being a gay mess over Jon’s show of basic human politeness.” He rested his head on the slightly sticky café table. Sasha giggled. 

“You are such a mess, how the hell do you end up crushing on two of the people who are hopelessly pinning for each other?” 

He looked up, glaring at her. “I do _not_ have a crush on Jon!” Sasha brought out her phone. “Sash, please no, I don't need to see the pictures again.” He shivered, thinking to the first time he denied having a crush on Jon and she brought out an entire album of him staring longingly at the man. He was sure she also had one of him looking at Martin.

“Timothy Stoker you have shit taste in men.” 

“Now you’re just being mean to Martin!”

“I meant Jon.”

“Aren't the both of you friends?

“But am I wrong?” 

They both glared at each other in the usual way they did. Tim looked away as the server arrived with their drinks. 

“HAH! I win!” She smirked as Tim just took his drink, thanking the server. 

“Either way, you’re not helping! How do I get over those two dumb idiots?” Sasha thought about it for a moment. 

“I mean, you could ask out both of them? I mean I know it might seem weird, but Jon is more open than you think.” 

Tim squinted. “Sash, not to be like, a killjoy or something, but we’re talking about Jon here. Stuck up, asshole Jon. He probably doesn’t even know what Twitter is!” 

Sasha just burst out laughing, and shook her head. “Tim, sweetie, you have _no_ idea how Jon really is, trust me!” She typed out something quickly on her phone. “Anyway, I’m sure you’ll realise he’s a lot more different than he seems, despite you falling for his ‘Messy librarian charm.’” She put air quotes around it. Tim ignored her and took a sip of his disgustingly sweet Mocha Latte. 

“I mean, he’s handsome! But I have no idea what you mean when you say that he’s different, he’s basically an open book! The dude is so stuck up that you could confuse him with a wooden plank!” A ding from Sasha’s phone. 

She ignored it. “You’re gonna be shell-shocked next weekend, love.” 

Tim gave her a confused look. “The Mechanisms concert? I thought Jon wasn’t coming with us.” 

“He isn’t!” She sounded excited.

“I hate this; stop being so cryptic!” He finished his drink and grabbed a few coins from his pocket (enough to pay for his and Sasha’s drink and a tip), dropping them on the receipt. “Shall we go? I wanna stop by Tesco’s to get some booze and we are gonna get drunk as fuck as I ignore my hopeless romantic adventures!” Sasha nodded and got up, putting her coat on and grabbed her purse. “Let's go, Stoker!” They walked to the door together, laughing.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank my friends apple juice and bunny for reading this over because i wrote it at 2am while i was loopy bcs my sleep meds were kicking in  
> anyways! i hope yall liked it, i dont do written stuff that often since i am a French Person and sometimes i write things wrong and i dont like it  
> example: i wrote an entire paragraph in french and didnt notice but was too lazy to fix it up so i used google translate and corrected it from there. i am Smart.
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	11. Masala Chai and Gunpowder Tim!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DaisyFan69 has added GpJordan 

**“Pump me boys”**

**DaisyFan69:** So, yall ready for this weekend?

**MoisturizemMe:** Yees!! I can’t wait! I have an amazing new skin to wear! 

**DaisyFan69:** ok minecraft character

**J.Sims:** no

**J.Sims:** no i am not

**DaisyFan69:** 🔫 You’re legally not allowed to not come, and id know im a cop

**J.Sims:** ugh dont reming me

**J.Sims:** _acab_

**J.Sims:** also no no im coming sasha already threatened me

**J.Sims:** but remember when i mentioned my coworker saying my voice sounding familiar

**DaisyFan69:** yea?

**J.Sims:** well

**J.Sims:** him and the coworker i may or may not like are coming

**DaisyFan69:** holy shit

**MoisturizeMe:** Jonathan, My dear archivist, you are a hopeless romantic mess!

**J.Sims:** _why does everyone hate me so_

**DaisyFan69:** i mean

**DaisyFan69:** daisy is coming too so we can both be romantic messes

**J.Sims:** oh great

**DaisyFan69:** oh by the way i finally convinced jordan to download this app so he can join the gc instead of having to give him all the info by fucking email like a boomer

**J.Sims:** oh finally

_DaisyFan69 has added GpJordan_

**DaisyFan69:** ayyy jordan!

**GpJordan:** Hey! whats up squad

**J.Sims:** Hey Jordy!

**MoisturizeMe:** Jordan, my dear! What's your vibe today?

**GpJordan:** good good! finally got this godforsaken app

**DaisyFan69:** ready for this weekend?

**GpJordan:** fuck yeah i cant wait to blow shit up!

**J.Sims:** I am Not Vibing Jordan

**GpJordan:** whats up?? u better be coming 

**DaisyFan69:** dont mind him hes just having a gay panic cause his crush is coming

**J.Sims:** ITS NOT A CRUSH SHUT UP

**GpJordan:** lol ur a loser

**J.Sims:** i hate all of you

**J.Sims:** also can i come crash at one of urs to do my makeup because my not crush is staying at my apartment bcs bug infestation and i dont want him to _know that i am jonny dville_

**GpJordan:** bug infestation?? damn you should have called id have taken care of it

**GpJordan:** also jesus fuck your life is a fucking fanfic how did you end up in that situation

**J.Sims:** no worries the institute called and took care of it :// its more that Martin doesnt wanna go back there 

**DaisyFan69:** aww yall cute

**J.Sims:** shut the fuck up

**DaisyFan69:** also cant let u stay sorry Daisy is sleeping over ://

**J.Sims:** simp

**DaisyFan69:** dont call me a simp, simp

**GpJordan:** nope sorry i have a roommate and he sucks and hates having people over

**MoisturizeMe:** I don't have a house! I live in a wax museum! 

**J.Sims:** you all suck

_J.Sims is offline_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just found out that gunpowder tim voices jordan kennedy so thats a thing now! and as im writing this im eating ovomaltine chocolate spread with a spoon so thats my mental state right not  
> next chapter is a bit of a vent one but also big pining on jons part  
> yall really want the reveal so I've started writing it but it might be a chapter or two since i have some stuff prewritten!!!
> 
> Also i love all of your comments so much <333 I never expected to get so many people reading a dumb fic i started writing at 2am cause i was lonely and im so happy that others can enjoy it! I'm trying my best to reply to all the comments but it is very hard and i am very small
> 
> but i love all of you! every single one! ok enough rambling i hope you enjoyed this short chapter!
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> also im running out of tea to name these chapters i might have to move on to coffee :(


	12. Tandoor Tea and Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please, Jon, take care of yourself!

Jon nervously bounced his leg as his phone rang. 

“Pick up, pick up, _pick up-”_ He mumbled impatiently, inhaling a scorching gulp of tea. Martin had made it before heading to Sainsbury’s, he remembered with a rush of something akin to fondness. 

Sasha picked up.

“Sasha, I desperately need your help,” Jon heard a muffled sigh from the other end.

“Jon, If you’re asking to stay over again I’ve told you that I can’t - Tim’s staying over and that would defeat the purpose of you frivolously hiding the fact that you’re the lead singer of the band they’re going to see.”

“That’s not it! I’m just…” He paused, taking another sip. “What do I do if they do find out?” Sasha began to retort, before Jon interrupted her: “I’m panicking Sash, I’ll never be able to show up to work again, I’ll have to _quit_ and become a hermi-” 

“ _Jon_ , breathe, you’re spiraling again,” Jon choked, realizing exactly how tense and wound up he was. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

“I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“Cut the crap, Sims, you know I told you that you don’t need to apologize.” 

Jon nodded before realizing that Sasha couldn’t actually see him. “Y-Yeah. Sor-” He caught himself.

“Have you taken your meds today, love?” 

He blinked.

“What meds?”

“Your anxiety medication. That you take when you start spiraling.”

He silently got up, heading to his bedroom. 

“That's what I thought, you idiot.” 

A shuffling sound was heard as Sasha presumably sat down. 

“Sasha, the concert is tomorrow. I don’t know what to do!”

“Everything will turn out alright, and if Martin and Tim will find out, which i'm pretty sure they will since you haven’t grown a new face no matter what you say this Nikola person offered to do, they’ll find it amazing!” Jon frowned “But Sa-” 

“No buts! You’re part of the Mechs because you enjoy it right? Focus on that, not on how lame or how cool Martin and Tim will find you because trust me, they’re gonna think it's cool as hell!”

“You’re… You’re right. I’m gonna go there and I’m going to enjoy it. Even if I have to do my makeup on the train and get changed in the shitty bathrooms when I get there.” Sasha sighed, and Jon could imagine her rubbing her temples. Little did he know that Sasha had already figured something out to get Martin out of the house so Jon could get ready.

“Well, that's the spirit? Now, didn’t you say Martin went out to get the shopping when you texted me earlier? Why don’t you start setting the table so you can cook together! Bonding activity!” He smiled, fondly shaking his head. “All right, see you tomorrow, Sash.” 

She hung up with a quick “See ya!” and Jon got up, doing as she had suggested.

There were about 50 million ways tomorrow could go wrong; _but, hopefully, a few ways it could go right._

What would Martin think? Jon had given up on denying the fact that he _liked_ Like-Liked Martin; it was painfully obvious on his part, and he hoped that it would perhaps, maybe, inexplicably, increase his chances with him. And Tim. Tim was…. He didn’t know. Maybe it was the fact that he made him laugh when it was a particularly bad day, or that he brought him coffee when Martin was out investigating some baseless statement… Wait.

And Tim?

Oh _shit...._ Did he like Tim??

Jon sighed and slid down to the floor of his kitchen, covering his face with his hands. “I’m _fucked_.” 

It was that moment Martin chose to come back home, and Jon scrambled to stand up, ending up almost face first on the floor. 

Today was going _great_.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gone mad and written 3 chapters today. So like, expect me to post a bit more? because trust me im as excited as yall. ive finally written the reveal!
> 
> Anyways this chapter is kind of a vent that i wrote mid anxiety attack so sorry about that! I'll post another chapter before i go to bed to make up for that :)
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	13. Peppermint tea and An eventful car ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the show.

Jon got lucky; Martin left early to join Tim and Sasha as they headed to the venue for a few drinks beforehand. His hands were shaking, but he managed to stabilize them long enough to finish his makeup.

In a way, Jon was excited. For a moment he pushed the oncoming dread of Tim and Martin seeing him on stage, seeing him perform, to focus on the performance itself. 

There hadn’t been a show in a while, and he was ‘ _hyped’_ \- as Georgie would say - to debut The Bifrost Incident. He would be Inspector 2nd class Lyfrassir Edda, and he was going to rock this show, anxiety induced freakout or not.

Jon finished right as Basira texted him, telling him that she was there to pick him up. He grabbed his bag and _definitely did not_ skip down the stairs. He opened the back door, jumping in and throwing his bag on the other seat. Daisy turned back from the passenger seat, smirking; “So, ready, first mate?” 

“It’s captain, you wanker,”

She snickered, turning back as Basira sighed, already done with their shit. Jon was almost vibrating with excitement, leg bouncing as he scrolled through Twitter. He blinked in bemusement, realising Martin was basically live tweeting his whole experience, with a _touch_ too many exclamation marks. Jon hadn’t realised he was smiling fondly at his screen until Daisy called him out:

“So, ‘Sira told me you’ve got a little crush~”

“Aw, shut up! It’s not a _crush_!” Jon protested rather lamely, fully aware that it was in fact, the biggest fucking crush he’d ever had. And that’s without even acknowledging that he was also pining for Tim.

“So, you git, what are you gonna do about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your crush, dumbass. Are you gonna confess? Passionately fall into his arms at the end of your show?”

“Daisy, no offence, that’s the shittest idea you’ve ever had.” He paused, thinking that if someone was to know, it would probably be Daisy and Basira. “Also I might have an issue. You know Tim, right?”

“The dude who put hot sauce in your tea?” Basira piped up, grinning, as she stopped at a red light.

“Yes, him.” He took a deep breath before mumbling something.

“Pipe up, Jonny boy, we can’t hear you!” 

“Don’t call me that, and… Well.” He looked down at his hands, trying not to pick at his nails, painted with shiny black nail polish.

“I may or may not have realised that I… Also like Tim? In a _I kind of want to hold his hand_ way?” 

Basira sighed. Daisy snorted, leaning over to flick his forehead. “You are a hopeless man, Jon.” Jon blinked. “So, date the both of them! It’s not that hard!”

“Daisy, you knob, I can’t do that” He frowned, looking downhearted. “It’s… I’m pretty sure that Martin likes Tim? And Tim likes him back?”

“Once again, Jon, how do you get in such shit situations.” Basira sighed, as she pulled in to the parking lot of the venue. There was about an hour till the show was set to start, but they needed to set up. The three of them got out of the car.

“Its really not my fault! Anyways, I’m going to stop thinking about this and focus on the show.” Daisy patted his back, and looked towards the main entrance. “Well, I’ll catch you later, I better get inside before It’s too crowded!” She smiled at Basira as she shook her head. 

“You do have your ticket right?” Daisy nodded, slipping her hand out of her pocket and waving around the slip of paper. 

“Well, see ya! Good luck, you tosser! I’ll try to find your love interests and judge your taste in men!” Daisy directed that last sentence at Jon as she walked away.

Jon made it clear what he felt about that last statement with a middle finger to the air as she left, smiling as he and Basira headed inside to join the others.

As they got inside, Jon started the usual prep, before being interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see the smiling face of Jordan, donned in his Gunpowder Tim outfit. Jon lit up. “Jordan! Hey!” Jordan gave him a coy smile; “So, Basira tells me tha-” 

“Nope, nope- We are _not_ talking about that! Are you ready for the show?” Jordan shook his head in exasperation.

“Yeah, you?” Jon nodded.

“I’m going to ignore my problems and sing about violence and murder” 

A moment later, Jon saw Nikola out of the corner of his eye, as usual dressed in red and black. He waved at her, and she walked over.

“Jonathan, my dear Archivist! I’m so glad to see you again!” She smiled, and it seemed unsettling, and _wrong_. But it was Nikola, and he was used to it. Her calling him archivist was weird, but he didn’t want to focus on that right now. “Me too, Nikki!” 

The rest of the preparations seemed to fly by so fast, and it was time to go on stage. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He opened them, adjusting his posture, and letting the familiar feel of Jonny d’Ville settle over him. 

He walked on stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest I'm having a really shit evening, but hey! that means more chapters for yall cause im inevitably pushing away a panic attack
> 
> at least we're finally getting somewhere though! tbh the bifrost incident is one of my favorite albums (v close to udad) and i was legally obligated to make the show since i literally named myself Lyf. so. yeah.
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	14. Chocolate Rose Tea and A little Eldritch chanting, as a treat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just need have a gay realization in the middle of a concert.

Sasha, Tim and Martin were sitting around a table at the medium sized venue that the concert was happening in. They were chatting aimlessly, Martin sipping from a glass of water as he excitedly ranted to Tim, who was drinking a beer, about the Mechanisms and the entire backstory of Jonny d’ville, as you do. Sasha sat there, watching them as she texted her groupchat.

* * *

**“Lesbians unite (and bi girls too ig)”**

  
  


**WhatTheGeorgie:** nono listen, listen, worm on a string is definitely the superior meme

**MelQueen:** you’re wrong but okay 

**SishSash:** not to interrupt your meme war but the shows starting soon where r u

**WhatTheGeorgie:** oh!! we’re just at the entrance, Mel’s getting drinks and i ran into basira’s kinda but not really girlfriend

**SishSash:** oh? Daisy? I think Jon mentioned her once or twice! add her to the chat! Basira too!

_WhatTheGeorgie added AcaBasira, DaisyFan69_

**WhatTheGeorgie:** w what the fuck is you guys screen names

**AcaBasira:** blame jon

**DaisyFan69:** blame jon

**MelQueen:** isnt it always him

**MelQueen:** which is which

**AcaBasira:** im daisy, other is basira

**AcaBasira:** if he wasn’t getting his emo gear ready, id stab him 

**MelQueen:** what a coward lol

**SishSash:** anyways guys come over to our table, we got a big one

**SishSash:** we can watch as martin and tim realise that jons cool

**WhatTheGeorgie:** jon will never be cool and u know this

**SishSash:** shhh tim and martin will think he is

**AcaBasira:** are they both crushing on him? cause jon was being a gay mess in the car 

**SishSash:** oh thank fuckign god he realised he liked tim

**SishSash:** hes such an emotionally repressed twat

**AcaBasira:** yeah

**WhatTheGeorgie:** yeah

**MelQueen:** yeah

**DaisyFan69:** yeah

**DaisyFan69:** anyways shows about to start

**DaisyFan69:** you better film tim and martin’s reaction i wanna see jon flustered when he watches it back

**WhatTheGeorgie:** both me and sasha are filming!

**MelQueen:** we’re at the table now, good luck Basira! break a leg!

**WhatTheGeorgie:** good luck!!!

**AcaBasira:** have fun! kick ass, ‘sira!

**DaisyFan69:** will do! thanks squad 😘

_SishSash, DaisyFan69, AcaBasira, WhatTheGeorgie and MelQueen are offline_

* * *

  
  


Sasha looked up as Georgie, Melanie and Daisy arrived. She got up to greet them, smiling as Martin and Tim looked confused. “Tim, Martin, meet Georgie, Melanie, and Daisy!”

They sat down, Tim piping up. “So, who…. Exactly are you?” Martin lightly slapped his shoulder and mumbled “ _Don’t be rude_ ” to him. Daisy chuckled “Chill, chill, I’m Daisy, I’ve known Jon for a while and I met him through Sash and ‘Sira” 

“I’m Georgie! Melanie’s my girlfriend! I’m also Jon’s best friend, and met Sasha through him” She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck as Melanie snickered.

“Jon? Weird how everyone keeps bringing him up, he said he wasn’t coming!” Martin pondered as Tim raised an eyebrow. 

Martin couldn’t help but think back to the conversation he had with Jon, hadn’t he said that he was seeing his best friend? Maybe Jon was here, but why would he not want to come with him? 

Martin couldn’t help starting to feel anxious. Tim looked over, taking his hand to stop him from picking at his sweater. He leaned over, close enough so the others wouldn’t hear them “You okay Marto?” Martin nodded, leaning a little into Tim. “Yeah I’m just… It’s dumb don’t worry about it” Tim frowned but decided not to push. He squeezed his hand and looked back up to the others. Melanie and Georgie were sharing what should be an illegally sized glass of Mojito and Sasha was giggling about something with Daisy. 

The lights dimmed and all of them looked up, settling comfortably in their chairs. There was the sound of steps on stage and murmured voices, setting up the instruments, the soft light of the back of the room illuminated the figures moving around, picking up instruments, bantering in character.

Martin felt his heart hammering in his chest, leaning forward, clutching Tim’s hand tightly. 

The light suddenly flashed, still dim, but giving an eerie, exciting atmosphere. Jonny d’Ville was standing at the front, goggles on the top of his head, wearing his signature white shirt and tan vest, donned with all the accessories a space pirate would need. Stark, dark streaks contrasted the pale skin of the man. Something tugged at Tim’s mind, something familiar, as he saw Jonny, but pushed it aside in favor of enjoying the show.

Suddenly, the sound of a violin cut through the silence, and there was the sound of Tales to be told, Jonny’s voice as amazing as it sounded on record.

Martin was amazed, blinded by the absolute excitement of it all. 

“Killers and renegades! Liars and thieves! Welcome, we are The Mechanisms! A band of immortal space pirates roaming the universe in the starship Aurora!” 

He waved his hand up high, smiling wildly, “Having fun! Violence…” Jonny continued the familiar speal, introducing the band.

“And at last, but most important, myself, Jonny d’Ville! Your _humble_ captain!”

“First Mate!” Martin, Georgie, and Daisy yelled out, startling Tim, and laughing as Jonny looked disgruntled.

He continued, finishing Tales to be told and going into his monologue.

“The Bifrost Incident. Any school child could tell you about it...” 

Martin was almost vibrating, the debut of The Bifrost Incident was all he had been waiting for for months! He turned to Tim, eyes shining.

“Tim! I can’t believe this is actually real!” Tim laughed,

“It is, Martie, It’s great so far!”

The show was amazing, clearly everyone was enraptured. The next song was Red Signal, and Martin was practically leaning out of his chair. He wouldn’t lie, he admired how Jonny looked, he was handsome, after all. He had a type, long brown hair, greying at the temples. Dark, expressive eyes with a curious glint. The low, rough voice- Wait… It couldn’t be…

Martin’s eyes widened as he stared. It was Jon. That...

He looked over to Tim, who was just enjoying it, tapping his foot to the beat. 

Martin tugged on his hand. “Tim!” He whisper-yelled. Tim looked over, confused at Martin’s bewildered look. 

“Please tell me that I’m not hallucinating, because I swear that that is Jon on stage!?” Tim blinked, “Yeah thats Jonny d’Vi-” Martin stopped him. “No! Jon! Jonathan Sims, our boss! The guy I like!” Tim whipped his head around, squinting as he stared at Jonny. Suddenly he saw it. Well, heard it would be more accurate, since that's the first thing he noticed. It was the same low, deep voice that Jon used while reading statements. Then it was his hair, the hair that he’d once helped Jon untangle after Sasha threw a pen at him and it had tangled in his hair. The dark peering eyes that always seemed to look into his very core.

“That's definitely Jon.” Both Tim and Martin looked at each other, then at the others. Sasha was snickering as Georgie sighed. Melanie and Daisy were just enjoying the show. 

Tim glared at Sasha, leaning over the table. “Did you know?” She nodded then motioned him to go back to his chair. “You can ask all your questions later, enjoy the show, loves!” 

Once again, Martin and Tim looked at each other, shell shocked.

Sasha sure wasn’t kidding when she said that Tim didn’t know as much about Jon as he thought.

Tim pointedly ignored the two cameras pointed at him and turned back to watch Jon’s _unfairly hot eldritch chanting_. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops i accidentally posted it too soon sorry if you saw that
> 
> Anyways! two chapters in a row, and its what all of you have been waiting for >:)
> 
> thank you so much to everyone giving me tea suggestions!!!! 💞 ❤️ 💔 ♥️ 💗 💓 💕 💖 💛 💙 💜 💚 <\- those r for u (you know who the 3 of you are)
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	15. Dandelion Tea and Why would plastic need to drink water?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon, please take a chill pill

Jon stepped off stage, still riding high from the adrenaline. He immediately flopped on a chair in the small room they had dedicated to their stuff. It was cramped for 7 people. 

Jon looked around at Basira, Jordan, Nikola, Kofi, Ben and Raphaella. He was happy, for a while before he remembered his earlier conundrum. 

He mumbled a quiet “ _Shit_ ” as he thought back to seeing Tim and Martin holding hands in the audience. He doesn't know what he expected, thinking he ever had a chance. He groaned audibly, and Basira looked up from her phone. “What is it this time, Sims?” Jon shrugged. “It’s… I’m just a little exhausted.” She nodded and went back to her phone. He stayed like that for a moment, sprawled on his chair.

He barely noticed Basira walking out, saying something about joining friends. He was going to do what he did best, and repress his emotions. He was simply going to _Not Think About It._

* * *

Outside, Basira had gone to join everyone else. She put a hand up for Daisy to see her in the crowd and everyone else looked up. “Hey, what's up squad?” Everyone gave a response going something like ‘Great’ or ‘Amazing’ and she smiled. Martin, however, looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. Basira smiled, giving him a small wave.

“So, you’re Martin right? Jon talks about you!” Martin just stuttered awkwardly before taking a deep breath and squeaking out “H-Hi! It’s super nice to meet you, you are so so cool it's an honor to meet you!” It took him a moment to catch up to what she said. Jon talked about him to _Ashes O’Reilly_? 

Basira chuckled “I’m Basira, It’s nice to meet you too! And no need to think of me so highly, I swear I’m not as cool as I seem.” Daisy knocked into her shoulder. “That’s a lie and you know it, ‘Sira.”

Martin just stood there, before fully comprehending what he had realized during the show. “Hey um… That was Jon right? Jonathan Sims? Because I kind of feel like I’m hallucinating right now.” It was at that moment that Tim came up behind him, putting a comforting hand on Martin’s shoulder. 

“Yeah I’d also like to know cause _what the fuck_.” Basira just burst out laughing. “Yeah, that was Jon.” 

Martin turned completely red. He squeaked “That’s… Oh my god he heard me ranting about how much I loved his music and-” He turned to bury his face in Tim’s shirt, mumbling ‘oh my god’ over and over again. 

At this point Tim would usually make fun of Martin for his ridiculous gay panic, but Tim himself was also having a gay panic because _Jon was not allowed to be that attractive_.

Sasha popped in, snapping a picture of their shell shocked faces. “Sasha!”

“What? Hey It’s kind of funny, don’t look at me like that!”

“I can’t fucking believe you didn’t tell me! You lied to my face!”

“I did not, I just… Twisted the truth!” 

* * *

Back in the backroom, Jon was still sprawled onto the chair, chatting with Nikola.

“Jon! I swear! It’s a new skin, I can’t believe you didn’t notice!” He laughed as she pouted. He decided to humor her. “So, where did you get this skin?” She started on a tangent about a fisherman? and his daughter or something. He wasn’t really paying attention. After all, he never really noticed a difference so it was just another quirky thing about Nikola, right?

He couldn’t help but think back to the worms. To the fear he felt when Martin gave his statement. And the text messages from Jane Prentiss. There was no possible way that she was alive? But who else would text him like that?

He shook his head, clearing those thoughts from his head as he tuned back into Nikola’s story, which has somehow ended up with Nikola kidnapping the head of a cult? He swore he heard something about Elias in there. He didn’t really understand but continued to nod and ‘Hmm’ at the appropriate moments.

Jordan came back into the room, throwing a bottle of water to Jon and Nikola. 

“Jordan, my dear, I’m plastic! I don’t need water!” Jordan just laughed and sat next to Jon.

“So, why aren’t you out there wooing your potential boyfriend?” Jon groaned again, very loudly. 

“Well.” He paused, thinking about how exactly to phrase it. “Um. So, I may have realised that I… Like two of my coworkers in a romantic way?” 

Jordan laughed and Jon glared at him. “Don’t make fun of my misery! Anyways, I am _pretty_ sure that they’re dating and that I have no chance whatsoever!” 

“And how exactly are you sure of that? Is it another of your Sims assumptions that you make while in a panic and end up being wrong?”

“That’s not what happened, fuck off.” It did manage to get a laugh out of Jon, but he instantly went back to a mournful, longing look. “I’m almost entirely sure that they are. They were holding hands during the entire concert! And Martin always goes to Tim for comfort, and they’re pretty much always close!”

“That's not a sure sign that they’re dating, Sims, maybe they’re just really close friends?”

“Jordan you don’t understand, I like both of them. And even if they weren’t dating they certainly like each other!” Jordan just sighed, shaking his head. “You are a mess. You should probably go out there and talk to them, maybe?” He waved his phone at him. “Basira just texted me, they’re asking where you are!”

He flushed, cheeks red under the dark makeup. “I can’t go out there Jay! I’m just going to stay here forever and melt.” His phone beeped. Jay shook his head and stood up. “Well, fine i guess, just, take care okay?” He walked out, and Jon realised that the room was empty. God he was pathetic, just… Sitting here, in an empty room wallowing in his shame instead of drinking and having fun. His phone beeped again. And again. 

* * *

**Private message from Basira O’Reilly**

**DaisyFan69:** yo jon get ur ass out here or im dragging u here myself.

**DaisyFan69:** jon

**DaisyFan69:** jon i swear to god

**J.Sims:** _shut up_

**J.Sims:** im not coming out i’ve decided that this chair is my only friend and that i will not leave it

**DaisyFan69:** fuckign hell sims

**DaisyFan69:** just. at least come to say hi to your fucking friends!

**DaisyFan69:** you can’t just isolate yourself, we know how bad that went last time

**J.Sims:** im soory

**J.Sims:** its just that i am on the borderlien of an anxiety attack and i can’t face them like this

**DaisyFan69:** Don’t do that

**DaisyFan69:** you know they care about you, right?

**J.Sims:** yeah

**J.Sims:** its just.. fuck

**J.Sims:** i hate this 

**DaisyFan69:** i know, Jon, but you can do this

**DaisyFan69:** Just come out for a drink or two, it’ll loosen you up

**J.Sims:** yeah

**J.Sims:** okay

**J.Sims:** i’m on my way

* * *

He locked his phone, and got up. He sent a mournful look to his chair and mumbled, “I’ll miss you, faithful chair…” before realising that the chair would not respond. He just stood there for a moment, taking deep breaths. “I can… Do this. What would Jonny d’Ville do? Definitely not panic in the back room of a shitty venue.” He put the tan vest he’d shrugged off when he’d come in back on.

He walked out, channeling the very energy that he used to go on stage, and walked to where his friends were waiting.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ill be honest, i dont remember writing the second part of this chapter since i think? i may have written it during a panic attack but oh well it turned out well!!
> 
> Updates may be a bit slower, since I'll be busy tomorrow and sunday, so idk when ill have the time or motivation to finish writing and editing the next few chapters! 
> 
> But i hope you enjoy <33
> 
> And if you ever wanna pop by for a chat, don't be afraid to send me a message on instagram or twitter!
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	16. Apricot Amaretto Tea and Stumbling through conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woah there Martin, took you a while.

Martin’s cheeks hadn’t returned to their normal colour since Basira confirmed that it was really Jon. Both him and Tim kept glancing at each other anxiously, but excited nonetheless. It wasn’t every day you find out that the guy you like is also the lead singer of your favorite band.

Basira turned around from her conversation with Daisy and Sasha “Hey, Jon’s on his way!

“Tim I think I’m going to faint.” Tim sighed “If you do that, you won’t get to hear _why the fuck he didn’t tell us that he was in a badass band_!” Martin thought about it for a moment before taking a deep breath.

Jon had just walked out of the back, and headed straight to the bar, ordering a beer. He hesitated on whiskey but decided that he probably shouldn’t have this conversation more than a little tipsy. 

He was stopped quite a few times by fans on his way over, smiling and taking pictures with them, in character of course. It took him about 10 minutes to cross the room, spotting Martin, who was bright red, and clutching Tim’s hand.

He sighed, it wasn’t time for another nervous breakdown. He could focus on that later, when he was at home. He was going to have a nice evening with his friends.

Martin saw Jon long before Jon saw him. He watched in admiration as he talked to people.

“It’s like he’s a completely different person…” Mumbled Tim. Martin nodded, speechless.

Jon really was just fluttering around, presence seeming so much more imposing than when he was in the archives or at ho- at his house. Martin internally cursed, he was getting too used to staying at Jon’s. 

Jon was finally approaching and he gave them a wave, seeming almost shy. 

Daisy instantly pulled him into a tight hug “Hey Jonny boy! That was fucking great!” He scrunched his face up, playfully pushing her away. “Thank you, thank you, I know I’m amazing!” He laughed, as both Georgie and Melanie congratulated him too. 

Sasha came up behind Tim and Martin, and leaned down to whisper to them. “So? What are you gonna do?” 

Martin whipped around. “Sasha! I- Uh-”

He ducked his head down, pulling his hand away from Tim’s to bury his face in his hands.

Sasha laughed as Tim glared at her, stone faced. “Don’t think I’m letting you off, Sash, I feel so betrayed right now.

It was then that Jon turned around smiled at them, the glitter in the black eyeliner that was framing his eyes sparkled in the low, colourful light. Tim swore his heart skipped a beat as Martin looked up and squeaked. Jon walked over, seeming sheepish.

“Hey! I… Uh- I hope you enjoyed the show!” Tim just stared at him, long enough to make Jon feel very, very awkward. Suddenly he pulled him into a hug, and Jon stumbled a little. “Jonathan Sims you asshat! I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.” Jon laughed as Tim let him go and he gave a big smile to Martin. “Y-Yeah, Jon! I- I ranted to you about your own albums! You pretended that you didn’t know anything about them!” Jon looked to the ground, rubbing the back of his neck and Tim wanted so bad to tell him to look up so he could continue to stare at his gorgeous face. But he didn't.

Jon tried stumbling through an explanation to why he hadn’t told them, but ended up just stuttering out “I uh, I didn’t know how to bring it up?” Tim squinted as he looked at Jon. “I cannot fucking believe this.”

Martin was just _absolutely_ freaking out. He was halfway through his internal monologue that was just “Holy shit, holy shit, _holy shit_ ” before realising that he should probably say something. 

“Oh um… Jon? I- uh… I really really liked the show!” Jon cheeks reddened, and Martin wanted to frame it. “Oh, um… Really? I was hoping you did, It’s… It’s been in progress for a while!”

“I know Jon, I check your band’s twitter!”

Tim elbowed him lightly. “You mean obsessively stalk?” 

“Sh- Shut up Tim!” He looked at him, scandalized. 

“Don’t worry Martin, I’ve seen you check it during work hours” He chuckled, teasing him.

Martin put his face in his hands again. “I hate you both”

“No you don’t!”

“No you don’t!”

Tim and Jon looked at each other, before quickly saying “Jinx!” 

Martin shook his head, looking at them fondly. He loved those two idiots so much.

He froze. 

Oh no. 

He liked Tim. And Jon. This was the worst moment to understand that particular feeling. He watched Jon and Tim together, laughing and realized how deep he was in. What the hell was he going to do.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smh we're finally getting somewhere  
> are martin tim and jon going to do something about this? absolutely not
> 
> also if these last few chapters have seemed a bit messy its bcs ive been doing that thing where i cant bring myself to talk to friends so no one's beta'ed them. hopefully theres not to many mistakes!!
> 
> also google docs please stop correcting colour to color im not american
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	17. Sencha Tea and Drunk Ramblings

Jon had managed to push back his anxious jealousy for now, he was really, _really_ , enjoying his evening. It had been a long time since he’d been able to let loose. At the Institute, he was always tense. Nervous. He felt watched and he didn’t particularly like it. Here he was free to be himself, making dumb jokes that the others weren’t sure if it was him or Jonny d’Ville talking. 

He could see that Martin was still star struck, and it filled him with a feeling reminiscent of pride. He slid out of the conversation he was having with Georgie and Melanie about which meme was the best. He didn’t have an opinion. His knowledge of memes comes from when that one time Melanie asked him if he knew what a meme is and he spent the entire afternoon, then night, researching the entire history behind memes. So no, he didn’t have an opinion.

He excused himself and walked up to Martin, who was sipping on his glass, waiting for Tim to come back from the restrooms.

“So, now that I’m not awkwardly sitting there listening to you talk about my own albums, I could… Actually tell you about them in more detail?” His voice got a little squeaky at the end, hoping that he didn’t sound too pushy.

Martin turned to him and lit up. “R-Really? Oh my-“ He took a gulp of his water.

Jon interrupted him. “It’s still me, Martin, you don’t need to be so nervous, I’m still the idiot who tripped and fell on the don’t slip sign while trying to avoid the puddle on the ground last week.” Jon chuckled, watching Martin untense. 

“Y-Yeah, how could i forget about that?” He smiled, putting his glass down and shifting so he was facing Jon properly. “You’d… really be okay answering my questions? I- I don’t wanna overwhea-“ Jon shook his head. 

“Martin, sweetheart, I really don't mind. If you want we can ask all you want when we get back or tomorrow morning, we don’t wanna spend hours talking about it here.” 

Martin nodded, before widening his eyes and flushing strawberry red again. Jon realised that he’d let a nickname slip through. He decided to roll with it. He was feeling confident. What if Martin figured out he had a crush on him? That was for tomorrow Jon to worry about. And he was also a bit more than tipsy. 

It was at that moment that Tim got back. 

Jon looked up, eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Tim! Hey!” He absolutely did _not_ slur his words. He wasn’t that drunk. Tim snorted and sat down next to him, smiling at Martin as he did. 

“So, you two conspiring behind my back while i was gone?”

“Tim! I’d never!” Martin said it in a way that he absolutely would.

Jon laughed, throwing and arm around Tim and pulling out his thankfully fake gun. “Who knows, maybe we were!” 

Tim playfully snatched the gun from him, and mimed shooting him as they all burst out laughing, all of them kind of leaning together in a big, gay pile. 

Sasha peaked around Daisy to snap a few pictures of them as the rest of the girls giggled.

The rest of the evening passed in the same kind of fun blur, and all of them were a little more than drunk at the end. 

Daisy and Basira had already left, so had Melanie and Georgie. Sasha was walking the three of the boys to the entrance, Jon having earlier loaded his gear into her car as she’d said she’d drive Martin, Tim and him back home. The all stumbled into the back seat, squished together, laughing. 

Sasha sighed as she started the short drive back to Jon’s apartment. She’d already made the executive decision to drop Tim off there too, hoping that would solve their romantic conundrum. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter today since i was out with friends!! :) i bought a new wig for jon n other characters so i spent 3 hours cosplaying gunpowder tim. that is all for my rambling today.
> 
> they r getting gayer. it will continue.
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits <\- check here if u actually wanna see the gp tim content


	18. Matcha Tea and Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Jon deserve a little bonding, at a treat!

Jon groaned as he opened his eyes, immediately snapping them shut. The light was piercing, blinding even. He tried to roll over to shield himself before realising there were arms around his waist. He froze and he heard a quiet whine behind him as the arms pulled him closer. He opened his eyes to see Tim’s face, one arm over him. He could guess that the person behind him was Martin but he couldn't remember how the fuck he got into this situation. He knew that it wasn't… A sexual thing. He was sure. Even drunk, his distaste for that was evident. And well, he still had his dress shirt on. 

A groan came from Tim as he rolled over, and opened his eyes, throwing the arms he had around Jon’s waist over his eyes in an attempt to shield them from the light. Jon imagined that he was still processing before he froze, and looked over. Jon wasn’t smart enough to pretend to be asleep on time and Tim sighed.

“Uh… Any idea how we ended up here?” He asked, in a hushed voice, trying not to wake Martin, but also in an attempt to calm the blinding pain of the hangover that he assumed the both of them were nursing. 

Tim shook his head. “Can’t help you there, last thing i remember is you and me having a drinking competition.” He winced as a the light got a little brighter. Jon chuckled. “I’d offer to close the blinds but…” He motioned to the arm around him, tight as ever.

Tim laughed, “Yeah, Martin tends to be clingy when he’s asleep.” Jon tried to hide the sad, longing look he knew was on his face and Tim poked him. “Jon, what is it?”

Jon shook his head. “It’s- N-Nothing… Don-”

“Jon you’ve always been a shit liar, go on, spill.” Jon hesitated for a moment, but decided to say fuck it. He didn’t even remember what happened last night, so he could have revealed much worse.

“Are… Are you and Martin dating? It’s- You don’t have to answer I know its deeply personal and I am your boss a-” Tim flicked his forehead, and Jon winced.

“Hey, chill there, It’s fine to ask y’know. You know very well that you’re not just ‘our boss’ anymore, right? You’re our friend!” Tim sighed and shook his head. “And to answer your question, no we’re not… I’d- Nevermind”

“You’d like to right?” Jon finished his sentence, sighing. Tim glared at him. “Yeah. I’ll be honest. I mean we are pretty much cuddling in… Shit where are we?”

Jon laughed, “We’re in my room, Tim” He blinked. “Oh. Well, as i was saying… Yeah. I… I’d like to date Martin- Not that- I know that you…”

Jon stopped him. “You don’t need to spare my feeling here, you should get the chance to be happy.” Tim shook his head. “No, no, Jon… It’s… I know that you and Martin are close and that you… There’s a chance for the two of you alright? Don’t worry about me, I fall for people left and right! I’ll find someone” He gives a smile, but Jon can tell that it isn’t genuine.

“That's if there is a possibility for me and Martin, Tim, which i doubt there is since… Well i haven’t been the greatest person to him recently and i haven’t figured out how to apologize.” He paused for a moment “I’d like to… apologize to you too. I haven’t been the greatest the past few months and Sasha’s pointed out multiple time that I’ve been rude or well, an asshole.” 

Tim reached to take Jon’s hand in his. “Hey, It’s good! I know you don’t mean it and that it's mostly because you’re stressed-”

“It’s not an excuse Tim, I-”

“Nope, you’re listening to me now,” He squeezed Jon’s hand “You don't need to justify yourself, I accept your apology.” He smiled at him “And hey, now I know you’re capable of letting loose!” Jon laughed, nodding. “Yeah. I’m still sorry though.” 

Tim sighed, “You should probably remove your makeup at some point, though, cause as hot as smudged eyeliner is, it's all over your sheets.” 

Jon blushed, and chuckled motioned to Martin’s arm “I don’t think I’m allowed to move.” He didn't mentioned that he didn’t want to move. It was nice, being held. He could easily imagine waking up like this everyday, Tim and Martin around him. Tim flicked his forehead, again. “You there, Jonny? You’re drifting off an awful lot there.” 

Jon pouted, and Tim melted on the inside. He couldn’t help it. The soft morning light was shining onto Jon’s brown hair, making it look golden. And frankly, smudged streaks of dark, glittery eyeliner had never looked so attractive on someone.

Tim tried to shift closer, wanting to hold Jon tighter, but remembered that the both of them should probably be getting up. 

“Don’t worry too much about Martin, he sleeps like a rock on normal nights.”

Tim sat up, awkwardly helping Jon out of Martin’s hold. It didn’t take long, the both of them to take a painkiller and start on breakfast. Well, Tim started on breakfast as Jon tried to get his eyeliner off. Which… Wasn’t exactly working. He stared at himself, smudged streaks refusing to come off no matter how hard he tried. He really hoped that he didn’t have to show up to work like this.

He walked out, wearing an oversized sweater that he was pretty sure was Martin’s, from the way it was at least 3 sizes too big. 

Tim turned around, almost freezing at the sight. Jon had no right to be that cute. He quickly turned around, hiding his reddening face.

“You struggling to clean up there, Jonny?”

Jon glared at him, pushing him slightly to the side as he came up to see what he was doing.

“Don’t call me that. And… yes. Unfortunately. Georgie told me it would last all concert but… I don’t exactly know how to remove it.” Tim laughed at him as he flipped a pancake, motioning to the pile on the plate next to the stove.

“Feel free to start eating, I’ll finish up these and wake up Martin.” 

At that moment, Martin walked in, yawning. “N- No need, Timmy, just…” He yawned again “Just woke up!” Jon smiled, grabbing the plate of pancakes and setting it on the table. Turning to get more plates and cutlery. “I hope you slept well, Martin” Martin nodded, swallowing a painkiller from the bottle that Tim had chucked him. 

“You were clinging onto Jon so much i'm surprised he managed to get out of your hold!”

Martin choked on the glass of water he'd just filled up, turning red. “O-Oh I’m so sorry Jon I-” 

“Martin, It’s alright, I… It was nice.” Martin squeaked, somehow reddening even more as Tim laughed. 

“Now, sit. Breakfast is almost ready.” Jon watched as Martin sat and leaned over him to place the chocolate spread, lemon juice, sugar and jam on the table. 

It took a few moments for Tim and Jon to finish everything, and Martin sat there, looking at them with what could possibly be heart eyes.

Jon, wearing one of his sweater, which that in itself was already too adorable not to notice, was squabbling with Tim over Marmite. The makeup, smudged but still there had no right to look that good on him at 9 in the morning.

Martin sighed, and looked at the two people he loved as they sat down to eat, and wished he could spend every morning with them.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating i have been very slow on writing because i am just.... simply cosplaying jon. i am a kinnie. that is all.
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> also id u wanna dm me on discord.... leitnerpiper69#8288  
> dont ask about the name  
> please


	19. Autumn Tea and Reddit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias has a subreddit

**"Archive buddies!"**

**TimStonks:** yo jon r u joining us for lunch??

**J.Sims:** Ah, I’m not sure

**J.Sims:** I have two more statements to read

**SishSash:** ugh loser

**J.Sims:** Why are you bullying me im doing my job

**TimStonks:** can u not just stop in the middle and finish after??

**J.Sims:** It doesn’t really work like that

**J.Sims:** It’s… When i start reading a statement, Its like i don’t want to stop? Or well it’s hard to

**TimStonks:** huh, weird

**TimStonks:** anyways if ur not joining us were coming to u, even if we have to listen to u read ur freaky deaky statement

**Marson:** tim! we can take lunch a little later to wait for jon!

**J.Sims:** Martin, you’re the only one i respect here

**SishSash:** jon stop typing like a proper person, we might think you’re straight

**J.Sims:** .

**J.Sims:** fine

**TimStonks:** also u need to change your username its fucking boring

**J.Sims:** im not changing my username, i have to text elias with this app

_TimStonks has locked J.Sims’ admin permissions_

_TimStonks had changed J.Sims’ username to InspectorLyf_

**InspectorLyf:** why

**TimStonks:** first thing i thought of also im never letting the fact you didnt tell us go

**SishSash:** hah

**SishSash:** at least now u dont have to pretend not to sing along when martin plays ur songs

**InspectorLyf** : i hate you

**Marson:** oh i like the username!!

**InspectorLyf:** i guess i can keep it

**TimStonks:** why r u nice to martin and not me >:( we bonded!!!!!

**InspectorLyf:** i have no respect for you 

**TimStonks:** WOW

* * *

_**R/shittyemplyees - This subreddit is about all the Shitty Employees** _ _  
_

_3 members 1 online_

  
_  
_

_This Subreddit is about all the Shitty Employees that work for me and just how in general they are terrible people_

**CREATE POST** _  
_

* * *

^

1 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 an hour ago_

v

**Shitty Employee #1 spent 60£ on donuts using the institute budget**

If I could, I would fire him. But i can’t. So i have to deal with it and him spending 64£ at dumb dumb’s donutier. Right before the institute’s yearly budget review.

2 Comments - Share - Save °°°

^

1 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 2 days ago_

v

**Shitty Employee #2 almost set our archive department on fire**

Why is he bringing matches in?? WHY DOES HE HAVE CANDLES ON HIS DESK?

0 Comments - Share - Save °°°

^

2 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 2 days ago_

v

**Shitty Employee #3 is an idiot. a fucking clown.**

Im not even kidding he has proof of it being real and hes like “oh it must be drugs” WHY IS MY ARCHIVIST SO FUCKING DUMB

0 Comments - Share - Save °°°

  
  
  


^

0 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 A week ago_

v

**Shitty not an employee he’s actually my husband i divorced him again**

He refused to give me more funds for my institute so i threw the wedding ring in the drain

2 Comments - Share - Save °°°

> ^ _RainAndShips_
> 
> 1 You are aware that i am in this subreddit, right?
> 
> v
> 
> ^ _sweetdude7788_
> 
> 1 as soon as we’re remarried im divorcing you again.
> 
> v

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the chat format! i hope yall missed it ;)
> 
> Also for everyone asking i am not the person who sent the cursed reading to ben in 2019. i wish i could say it was bcs it sounds like smth id do but i wasnt even into tma at that point. well
> 
> Anywayys for the people who did wanna know why my discord tag is what it is i did make a discord server bcs one (1) person asked. yall better join cause ill feel real weird if no one does.
> 
> https://discord.gg/ca23UWR (feel free to comment if the link expires ill send another)
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> also i am so sorry for not replying to all the comments!!! it is getting a little much and i am very slow. and small. but <33333


	20. White Tea and Cursed Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no comment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY I MADE A DISCORD SERVER IF U DIDNT SEE!!!!!! JOIN US
> 
> https://discord.gg/ca23UWR

**SishSash:** and thats why elias is a metaphor for capitalism

**InspectorLyf:** w what

**TimStonks:** read up 

**Marson:** does that make elias the onceler

**InspectorLyf:** never speak words to me again

**SishSash:** DFHSDSASFDGFDGND MARTIN

**TimStonks:** please

**TimStonks:** please martin no

**InspectorLyf:** im…………

**InspectorLyf:** im going to commit a hate crime

**SishSash:** it fits though

**SishSash:** do you think he like

**SishSash:** dates himself

**TimStonks:** sasha i swear to god if you bring up oncelercest i am going to have to kill you

**SishSash:** ill bdg this shit im sure of it

**SishSash:** what if elias like

**SishSash:** was dating the previous heads of the institute

**InspectorLyf:** i regret ever thinking you were competent

**SishSash:** shut up jon let me finish my theory

**SishSash:** so in theory if we counted all the heads of the institute as the same person

**SishSash:** and they all fucked

**SishSash:** it would be the human equivalent of oncelercest

**TimStonks:** martin do you have a gun

**Marson:** why would i have a gun

**TimStonks:** hey jon do you have a gun

**InspectorLyf:** not on me no

**TimStonks:** what

**SishSash:** you couldn’t shoot me even if you wanted to

**InspectorLyf:** i need a break

**Marson:** me too, jon want me to bring a cup of tea and we can hand in your office?

**InspectorLyf:** that sounds lovely, thank you :)

**TimStonks:** I’m coming too 

  
  


* * *

**“stupid horse”**

**worms:** bitchard im comin

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** what

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** already??

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** im not ready!!!

**worms:** too bad fuck you.

**muffet:** things heating up in the worm fandom

**worms:** they really are

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** i hate you all

**worms:** also has someone added breekon nd hope

**TenTickles:** i dont think so

**muffet:** AYYYY OLIVER

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Hello, Oliver, it is nice to talk to you again

**TenTacles:** hey annabelle, and everyone else except elias 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I'm being hate crimed.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I hate every single one of you

**worms:** see u in a bit elias

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** DONT YOU DARE IM NOT READY

_TenTickles has added Breekon and Hope_

**Hope:** why are we here

**Breekon:** why are we here

**worms** : avatar group chat. 

**Hope:** ah, interesting. 

**TenTickles:** So, how are you Breekon? last i heard you threw more cops into the coffin

**Hope:** ah yes. it was quite an event.

**muffet:** wait

**muffet:** which one is breekon which one is hope

**Hope:** im breekon

**Breekon:** im hope

**muffet:** i hate this.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to my friend hamid bcs we love onceler elias in this house
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/ca23UWR
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> also i totally did not make jons username inspector lyf in the last chapter bcs its my name. nope. idk what ur taking about


	21. Lady Grey and An unfortunate day

Jon, Martin and Sasha were running through the halls of the archives. Jon had to admit that pulling out his tape recorder out of the mass of worms wasn’t his greatest idea. The felt like it passed in a blur. A disgusting, worm covered blur. 

The three of them managed to get to a safe room, and worked on pulling out worms from each other. It certainly wasn’t ideal, and everyone was worried about Tim. They tried calling him, and warn him from staying away from the archives, but signal was patchy, and it wouldn’t go through. 

That was when Martin saw Tim. And well, Sasha, went out to tackle him. 

Martin saw Prentiss. Right there, he was frozen in fear as he stumbled back. Jon came up behind him, catching him a little and taking his hands in his.

“Breathe, Martin. We’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that!” 

Jon guided Martin to sit down. It… They had well, a heart to heart. It wasn’t the best, but it worked to distract Martin from the panic attack he was about to have.

Back in Jon’s office, Tim fell on the fire extinguishers, and we all know how that went. He got into the tunnels, and successfully helped Martin and Jon get out.

Back on Sasha’s side, she’d managed to find Elias, and yelled at him till the both of them headed down to activate the fire suppression system. Sasha got separated from Elias, and almost ended up in artifact storage. She instead took a turn, grabbed one of the fire extinguishers on the wall and headed back down. She wasn’t going to let her friends die.

Martin had gotten separated from Tim and Jon, he thought that they were behind him. They got out, though. 

As Jon said. Everything passed by in a blur. Jon couldn’t remember much after getting out of the hatch. He saw Prentiss and passed out, only waking up hours later, surrounded by medical staff, and quarantined. Tim was alright, they had said. So was Martin. And Sasha.

He’d never be more thankful that everyone made it out alive. He was shaken up, and he spent the time he was quarantined thinking back to the conversation him and Martin had in the storage room.

He couldn’t keep lying to himself, he’d always know the supernatural was real. Artifact storage itself could convince any skeptic.

He was afraid, he’d always been. He had to start taking this seriously.

* * *

The moment he was let out of the quarantine, he fell into Tim’s arms in a tight, tight hug. 

Both of them were bandaged up from head to toe, and they slowly headed over to where Martin and Sasha were waiting. They shuffled up awkwardly as Martin fussed about. Sasha gave a quick explanation to what happened after her and Tim were separated, that she’d headed back down to the archives and had just not managed to get to the hatch before the ceo suppressor had been activated. Martin told them about Gertrude’s body.

Jon felt the creeping sense of paranoia fill his mind. He pushed it back.

“If… If it’s not too much of a bother, could i take all of your individual statements, I just… I want a record of this.” With some gruntled agreements, said statements were taken, so was Elias’ and everyone headed outside the institute to wait for their Uber. Sasha gave them all a quick hug, being especially careful to not injure Tim and Jon more and left for her car. She tried to convince them to let her drop them off, but they lived in opposite directions and she settled on calling them and Uber.

As they waited, the silence was tense. Jon spoke first.

“Um... Well. I suppose since the worms aren’t a problem anymore, you could head back to your apartment, Martin?” Martin slumped. “Y-Yeah you’re righ-”

Tim interrupted him. 

“Nope. No way. None of you guys are spending the night alone especially after that!”

“Tim I don’t think that’s ne-”

“Jon, look at me and tell me you’ll follow what the paramedics said.” 

He didnt reply. 

“Exactly, now we’re all heading to Jon’s since its closer, and we’re all going to have a nice evening.” 

Jon begrudgingly agreed, while Martin was stewing in doubt. Did Jon want him to move out that much? 

The Uber arrived, and they all got in. Tim in the middle of Jon and Martin, and took one of each of their hand. The drive was silent, everyone tense.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short n sweet :)
> 
> return back... sometime soon for ur regularly scheduled gay moments
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/Am932bS
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	22. Apple Cinnamon Tea and Gradual Paranoia

When they arrived at Jon’s, the three of them awkwardly stumbled in the apartment. Jon and Tim were ushered to the couch as Martin made them tea. 

Jon’s head was in shambles. Any one of them could have killed Gertrude. 

He could be sitting next to a murderer. He could been have letting a murderer live in his house.

It…He didn’t want to think of them like that. But he couldn’t not be suspicious. Anyone could be out to get him.

Tim flicked his forehead in a way that had become so, so familiar. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jon jumped, turning to see Tim looking at him with concern, holding Jon’s arm where he’d been visibly picking at his bandage.

Jon shook his head. “It’s nothing Tim”

“It’s not nothing, Jon. I’ve known you long enough that you’re not doing good”

He just shook his head again. “Tim, really, It’s nothing.” Tim sent him a look that he knew ment that he wouldn’t drop it and sighed.

Martin walked in holding three cups of tea, and handed one to each of them, sitting next to Jon.

Jon was lost in thought again and Martin couldn’t lie that he was concerned. Jon had been strangely silent, more than usual. He’d slowly learned to notice when Jon was spiraling ever since the concert, and they’re been getting closer and closer the three of them. 

Tim cleared his throat. 

“So. Do we wanna watch a movie or go straight to sleep?”

Jon shrugged, “I don’t mind.” Tim got up. “Bed it is!”

Both Martin and Tim noticed how the exhaustion weighed on Jon’s bones, and Tim dragged him up by the hand and too the bedroom. 

“You- Uh- Tim i can walk by myself!” 

“Nope. C’mon, we’re all sharing the bed”

“U-Uh are you sure Tim?” stumbled Martin, flustered. He just nodded and gently pushed Jon onto the bed. 

“I need to get changed, Tim” Jon pouted and Tim wanted to kiss him. He sighed and motioned to his drawers.

“Uh- T-Tim? Would you need to borrow one of my sweaters? I doubt Jon’s would fit you” Tim nodded, taking the sweater Martin handed him.

Jon got up, and left for the bathroom to get changed and brush his teeth.

Meanwhile Martin and Tim were chatting. Martin had changed as he got in, and Tim took his shirt off, suddenly startling the other who turned tomato red. 

That was also the moment Jon walked in and both him and Martin were staring, quite obviously, might i say. 

Tim looked at the both of them.

“Uh, g-guys?” He flushed red “Not to interrupt your... Staring but… Bedtime?” Tim slipped the soft yellow sweater on. It was large, but ran a little short, Tim being quite taller than Martin was.

Jon sighed and looked away, climbing in his bed. 

The three of them positioned themselves almost immediately like last time, it seeming engraved in their mind already.

Martin had gone back to sleeping in his spare room the day after the concert, and Jon couldn’t say that he wasn’t disappointed.

Tim scooted closer to Jon, who was in the middle of the two, and tugged him into his chest. 

“Chill, babe, stop being so tense.” Tim quietly motioned to Martin to come closer behind Jon’s back.

Jon sighed and unclenched his muscles, leaning into the embrace, resting his head onto his chest.

He’s barely even registered the nickname, too exhausted to do anything else. 

Martin scooted closer, wrapping his arms around Jon, and linking his hand with Tim's, smiling at him. Tim snorted

“Get some rest, Jon, you need it” 

“So do you…” He’d mumbled it in an adorable, sleepy way and both Martin and Tim looked at each other, silently agreeing that Jon was adorable.

Then it clicked for Martin. Tim liked Jon.

Tim was holding back from asking Jon out because Martin liked him.

Shit.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personal thanks to the discord server. theyre cool i like them a lot <3
> 
> short and sweet! might post another chapter later tonight bcs i've written quite a lot today!!
> 
> Also pshhht join the discord server!! u get to give me advice and see sneak peaks and have long conversations about the mechs
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/ca23UWR
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	23. Sheffield Gold Tea and Soft Mornings

**Private message from Evil boss guy.**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Tim. please inform both Jon and Martin that there is no need to come into work for the coming week. You all need a break and the archives will be cleaned and fixed.

**TimStonks:** first of all

**TimStonks:** why r u texting up employees at fuckin 7 am

**TimStonks:** second how the fuck did u know jon nd martin r with me

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Tim, a bit of professionalism, please.

**TimStonks:** your username is plukas’ sugar baby 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Ah, that. 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I can’t find a way to change it.

**TimStonks:** lol loser

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Well, please inform the two of them.

**TimStonks:** wait how did u know they were with me

_Plukas’ sugar baby is offline_

* * *

Tim sighed as he texted Elias, and Jon grumbled from from his spot curled up in Tim and Martin’s arms. The both of them had been up a while, Jon haven woken by a pretty horrid nightmare, Tim waking up along him and comforting him. Martin had woken up too to help calm Jon down, but fell back asleep pretty quickly. 

“What are you doing, Tim” His voice was slightly muffled, from having his face literally pressed in Tim’s chest.

“Double boss texted, wants us to know we have the week off.”

“What? Does he think we’re not capable? I can’t take a week off i have to start researching into Prentiss’s origi-“ 

Tim stopped him, “Jon, chill out. First of all, neither me or Martin would let you go back to work. The both of us are in constant pain and Martin is a worry wart. Second, we can’t even go in the Archives, they’re being cleaned.”

Jon let out a soft ‘Oh’ and snuggled back into Tim’s chest.

Tim hesitated a moment leaned to press a soft kiss to the top of Jon’s head.

He shivered, turning bright red and cuddling closer. He couldn’t find the words to ask why.

Martin slowly awoke to see the two loves of his life. He ignored the bitter jealousy, hugging Jon closer and mumble a “Good morning”, nuzzling the back of the man’s neck.

Jon let out a small whimper, turning even redder if possible. 

Martin chuckled, Tim smiling widely.

“I have a proposition.”

Jon slightly looked up, making a curious ‘mhm?’ sound.

“How about I stay here during the week? Week Long sleepover!”

Jon considered it for a moment. “I- I mean you can stay if you want, but I’ll have to be looking into Prentiss and everything we found out after, I can't let it just go unanswered!” Tim sighed, “Jon, babe, you’ll have plenty of time to research later, just chill for a bit, okay?” 

He froze up, face slowly turning red. He nodded, words failing him.

Martin chuckled. “Babe? That's a new one.”

“Seems it flusters our dear boss, huh, Babe…?” He had a coy smirk on his face as Jon whined and buried his face in Tim’s sweater as much as he could. The both of them laughed, Martin squeezing Jon and Tim placing another soft kiss on the top of Jon’s head.

He clung harder to them, refusing to move and show how bad he was affected.

Mart slowly let go of him and sat up

“We should probably get up soon, and i need to go to the loo.”

Tim nodded, and Jon mumbled an agreement, but did not move.

The morning passed by in a haze, Tim and Martin making breakfast and Jon sleepily sitting at the table. Unfortunately for the other two, as soon as breakfast was finished, Jon excused himself to do his research.

Jon couldn’t believe he got so sidetracked. He’d completely ignored the whole… Murder problem.

He spent the entire day on the internet, hoping to find something. But nothing. He has nothing. He had to go to the archives to get some statements. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe gay
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/zPF5a33
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	24. Milk Tea and Lying

**Private message to Ugh, Elias.**

**InspectorLyf:** Elias.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Hello, Jon! What can i do to help?

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I assume Tim told you that you didn’t need to come in, correct?

**InspectorLyf:** Yes, about that, would it be possible to pass by to pick up a few statements? I was hoping to work a bit more of my own time.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Workaholic as always, Jon.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** But of course! Just do ask Rosie when you come in, you still require some protection when entering the Archives, the exterminators have used some pretty harmful chemicals!

**InspectorLyf:** Of course. Goodbye Elias.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Best of wishes recovering, Jon.

* * *

The next day, after managing to free himself from Martin’s grip with an excuse of needing the bathroom, he headed off to the Archives.

“Good morning Jon! I hope you’re recovering well?”

“Hello Rosie. And yes, thankfully nothing too bad except my leg.”

“Damn, I’m sorry ‘bout that! Anyways, here’s the stuff you need to go in. Elias is pretty serious about using them.” 

“Of course, thank you. Have a good day, Rosie!”

He nodded at her as she waved goodbye. He put on the required mask, goggles and gloves.

His trip didn’t take long, but he still ended up out of the Archives at about 11am. He quietly cursed as he got onto the tube. His phone beeped.

* * *

_TimStonks has created “The boys”_

_TimStonks added InspectorLyf, Marson._

**TimStonks:** jon where r u

**InspectorLyf:** ah, sorry

**InspectorLyf:** Elias asked me to pop by the institute to grab a few things, nothing big

**InspectorLyf:** i’m on the tube rn, I’ll be back in 20

**Marson:** still, you cant just leave like that,,,

**TimStonks:** yeah jon, we were worried

**InspectorLyf:** im sorry

**InspectorLyf:** do you need me to pick something up at tescos?

**Marson:** jon,,,

**InspectorLyf:** i said im sorry

**TimStonks:** jon dont be a dick 

**InspectorLyf:** what? tim i apologized

**TimStonks:** even through the screen we can tell it wasn’t genuine

**TimStonks:** just be back quick

**InspectorLyf:** you know what? im going to take a walk. 

**TimStonks:** Jon. Seriously.

**Marson:** ,, jon dont be like that

_InspectorLyf is offline._

**TimStonks:** god fucking damn it.

* * *

Back at Jon’s apartment, Tim was pacing. Martin had attempted to make him stop, but he clearly needed something to do. So Martin did what he did best, and made tea.

“Fucking idiot,” Tim was mumbling under his breath, “Doesn’t fucking realize we care about him. He can’t just do that! It would have been fine, but why did he lie! Arsehole!”

Martin stood up, putting his mug down and walked over to Tim, taking his hands in his. 

“Tim, take a breath. I’m… I’m sure he had his reasons!”

“Martin, you saw how he was yesterday! He was almost manic!”

“I know, but we… We have to trust him, i think?”

“You don’t.”

Martin didn’t reply, betraying himself. At that moment the door rang. 

Tim sighed and went to open the door, giving a small smile as Sasha walked in.

“It’s my two favorite boys!” She greeted each of them with a kiss on the cheek and a hug as they both mumbled out a hello.

“What’s got you so jumpy?” Tim sighed and went to sit down on the couch, the other two following him and sitting down.

“It’s… It’s Jon.” She sighed, shaking her head. “What’d he do this time?” 

“Lied to us.”

“Tim! He… Well, he got out of bed this morning and told us he needed the bathroom so the both of us went back to sleep and kind of panicked when we woke up at 11 and he wasn’t there?”

“You… You three slept in the same bed?” Tim glared at her and she put her hands up in mock defeat. “Anyways, why is that a problem?”

“Bastard told us Elias asked him to pick some stuff up from the institute. Elias told us to take the week of to rest.”

“Tim!”

“ _Martin._ ”

Martin looked away, slightly upset. He couldn’t blame Tim, he was also worried about Jon. But he just couldn’t understand why Jon lied? And why decided to be… Well, he didn’t like saying it, but a dick.

“Jesus, I’m going to have to talk with him again, aren’t I” 

Tim nodded and Sasha got up, dropping the bag on his lap. “Well, I’m gonna go that, you boys take a chill pill and stop stressing, alright? Jon tends to be a fucking idiot, nothing new.” 

“Thanks for that, Sash, and thanks for the clothes!” 

Martin got up. “Let me walk you to the door!”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters today :) enjoy the cliffhanger
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/zPF5a33
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	25. Belgian Mint Tea and Sometimes Jon's a dick

**Private message to d’Ville kinnie <3**

**SishSash:** jon.

**InspectorLyf:** what is it now

**InspectorLyf:** did tim snitch on me

**SishSash** : Jon you can’t pull this shit again

**InspectorLyf:** how do you even know about that

**SishSash:** there's a girls chat

**InspectorLyf:** what, are you going to spread my trauma around now?

**SishSash:** Jon. You know we all care about you right?

**SishSash:** We’re doing this to help

**InspectorLyf:** No you’re not

**SishSash:** Don’t be like that!

**SishSash:** Now tell me where you are, we’re going to have coffee and sort through this.

**InspectorLyf:** Don’t bother. 

**SishSash:** Jon!

_InspectorLyf has blocked SishSash_

* * *

**“Lesbians unite (and bi girls too ig)”**

  
  


**SishSash:** jon blocked me

**DaisyFan69:** Fuckin seriously?

**DaisyFan69:** can’t believe he’s pulling this shit again

**AcaBasira:** Huh? whats going on

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Jon’s well… He has a bad history of running away from his problems in a very unhealthy way

**DaisyFan69:** yeah. that.

**DaisyFan69:** He pushes people away and acts like an asshole

**WhatTheGeorgie:** yeah,,

**AcaBasira:** ill go find him

**SishSash:** good luck, fucker blocked me when i asked where he was

**AcaBasira:** bold of u to assume im asking

_AcaBasira is offline_

**DaisyFan69:** don’t worry, she’ll put him in his place.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Daisy to figure out where Jon was. Well. It was more like he’d literally fallen into her lap. She’d been at the police station while texting, already starting to find a way to track Jon’s phone when Basira walked over to her desk.

“Dais’? Seems Jon is at the front desk…”

She kicked back her chair, standing up.

“The hell he here for?”

“Officer Jones said he was asking for the tapes we got from Robinson’s murder scene.”

“What? Why the fuck is he asking for those?”

“Not sure, but well. What’s the harm in giving them to him? No one else in this fucking station is helping.”

“It’s… Yeah. I’ll go give them to him and also kick his ass for being a git.”

Basira sighed and nodded and Daisy went off to grab a few of the tapes. No one stopped her. No one dared to.

She walked to the front desk and she watched Jon’s face fall as she walked up to him.

“So, Jonny boy, Sash told me you blocked her?”

“None of your business, Tonner.”

“Don’t pull the last name on me. C’mon, outside. We’re gonna have a chat.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet <3
> 
> Join the discord server, cowards!
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/Am932bS
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	26. Mango Lemon Tea and Sexy.

**“stop being simps”**

**Vast is the Sexiest:** i refuse to accept this SLANDER

**muffet:** now now simon, the web is definitely the sexiest

**Vast is the Sexiest:** have you READ my username

**m̷͎̖̔i̴̱͈͊̊c̶̬̽ḣ̵̗͝ͅa̸̯̔ę̶͉̀͝l̵̞͙̍̅:** i literally let the hallways vore me for a reason

**darkluela:** the dark is objectively the sexiest, have you looked around you???

**TenTickles:** why do you literally only come on here to argue about your entity’s sexiness manuela

**darkluela:** because yall suck

**hotbones:** 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕙 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕖𝕤𝕥. 𝕚 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕓𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥

**firesimp:** jared, sweetheart, you dont need to type like that

**hotbones:** 𝕚 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠. 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖

**m̷͎̖̔i̴̱͈͊̊c̶̬̽ḣ̵̗͝ͅa̸̯̔ę̶͉̀͝l̵̞͙̍̅:** back to our 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 conversation. 

**m̷͎̖̔i̴̱͈͊̊c̶̬̽ḣ̵̗͝ͅa̸̯̔ę̶͉̀͝l̵̞͙̍̅:** the spiral is sexy as fuck. im the spiral.

**firesimp:** all of you are fucking wrong, the desolation is the hottest

**firesimp:** id know

**m̷͎̖̔i̴̱͈͊̊c̶̬̽ḣ̵̗͝ͅa̸̯̔ę̶͉̀͝l̵̞͙̍̅:** ok simp

**darkluela:** ok simp

**TenTickles:** ok simp

**TenTickles:** anyways whats sexier than the end? absolutely nothing. 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Now, now, all of you are wrong.

**muffet:** dont open your fucking mouth bitchard

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I’m just saying, i work for the beholding, how bad can i be

**m̷͎̖̔i̴̱͈͊̊c̶̬̽ḣ̵̗͝ͅa̸̯̔ę̶͉̀͝l̵̞͙̍̅:** DONT FUCKING ONCELER US

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Give me a moment. I’ll be right back.

* * *

**Private message to The Archivist**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Jon, may i ask you a favor?

**InspectorLyf:** Um. I guess?

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** May i ask you to say “The Beholding is the sexiest”?

**InspectorLyf:** Why.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I’ll give you a raise.

**InspectorLyf:** Okay i guess

**InspectorLyf:** The Beholding is the sexiest

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Thank you, Jon!

_Plukas’ sugar baby is offline_

**InspectorLyf:** ...Alrighty then.

* * *

**“stop being simps”**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** _[Screenshot]_

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Hah!

**MoisturizeMe:** Now, Elias, if i can call you Elias?

**MoisturizeMe:** That doesn’t count!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Of course it does!

**MoisturizeMe:** Just watch this!

**muffet:** this is a shitshow

**muffet:** i love it

**TenTickles:** ikr

* * *

**Private message to Jonny d’Skin**

**MoisturizeMe:** Jonny, dear!

**InspectorLyf:** hey nikki

**InspectorLyf:** what can i do for u? u dont usually text me out of the group

**MoisturizeMe:** Oh just a small favor! Nothing big!

**InspectorLyf:** sure?

**MoisturizeMe:** Could you just say “The Stranger is the sexiest”?

**InspectorLyf:** what is up with everyone today?? first elias then u what the fuck is the beholding and the stranger

**MoisturizeMe:** Don’t ask questions, love! Pleeeeease?

**InspectorLyf:**...fine

**InspectorLyf:** The Stranger is the sexiest

**InspectorLyf:** happy?

**MoisturizeMe:** Very! <3

**MoisturizeMe:** Have a good rest of your gay day! Goodbye, Jon dear!

_MoisturizeMe is offline_

**InspectorLyf:** what the _fuck_

* * *

**“stop being simps”**

**MoisturizeMe:** _[Screenshot]_

**MoisturizeMe:** See, Elias! I win!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** So first of all, fuck you.

**muffet:** AHAHSDJFDSDGF

**hotbones:** 𝕤𝕖𝕖𝕞𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕥, 𝕓𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕕

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Who taught jared that.

**firesimp:** guilty

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I hate all of you

**Vast is the Sexiest:** back to the fucking subject, the vast is the sexiest and none of you can do anything about it

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Fuck all of you

_Plukas’ sugar baby is offline_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a break of the angst :) next chapter might be a lil heavy cause its me projecting and kinda making up my backstory of jon before he became head archivist.  
> Hope yall have good day!
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/Am932bS
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> (Translation for the people who r on mobile 😔:
> 
> hotbones: the flesh is seixest. i can be what i want
> 
> hotbones: i want to. this is what my voice sounds like
> 
> m̷͎̖̔i̴̱͈͊̊c̶̬̽ḣ̵̗͝ͅa̸̯̔ę̶͉̀͝l̵̞͙̍̅: back to our fucking conversation. 
> 
> -
> 
> hotbones: seems you have lost, bitchard)


	27. The Queens Peach Tea and Sometimes you just gotta threaten your friends to get through their THICK head

Jon’s internal monologue went something like ‘fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck’. As much as he poked fun at Daisy and Basira’s jobs, he had  _ completely  _ forgotten that they worked here. 

He had gone in hoping to pull a Tim and manage to get the tapes through pure persuasion but the officer he had asked had gone to ask ‘Officer Hussain’ and he’d realized how bad he’d fucked up trying to avoid them.

He followed Daisy outside. He didn’t like the lingering awkward silence as she motioned him to sit down on a bench in the small grassy area in front of the station. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, grabbing one for herself and tossing one to Jon then sitting down next to him.

“I don’t smoke anymore.”

“Right.”

He sighed, lighting the cigarette.

“So, the hell’s going on with you?”

It was unusual for Daisy not to call some dumb insult like she usually did. The two of them hadn’t been friends for that long, only about a year, meeting after being introduced by Basira, but were quite close. 

Anytime before that year was hard on Jon. He’d basically cut off all of his friends when he started working at the Magnus Institute. He’d… Jon always had a history of running away from his problems and 4 years ago it had been especially bad. When he graduated and got his job, all started well but… A toxic relationship and a bit of trauma here and there can do a lot to a person.

He never let himself get close to anyone at work until about… 2014? That was when Basira had shown up at his door and subsequently yelled at him for 3 hours and 40 minutes about how dumb he’d been. He finally started to engage in conversation with Tim, who at the time shared a desk with him in research, and Sasha, who he met through office gossip during lunch breaks. He'd never really talked to Martin unless it was to correct him on his bad paperwork. He really regretted being such an ass.

He’d been getting better. They still hadn’t managed to convince him to get a therapist but he’d stopped getting snappy and ignoring and blocking people as soon as they tried digging a bit deeper in his emotions. Well that didn’t last long.

Suddenly, fingers snapped in front of his face, and he jumped, startled.

“Jon. Stay with me here. The fucks going on? You know you can talk to us right?”

He nodded. “Y-Yeah. Sorry. I don’t know what you’re so concerned about, there’s nothing wrong!”

“Bullshit.”

“Daisy, I just- I can’t tell you.”

She flicked his cheek. “Jon you can’t pull that on me. Seriously, remember what we talked about, stop bottling shit up it won’t end well.” He just sat there, silent for about a minute.

“Daisy I…” He hesitated, picking at a healing scab on his hand. The wounds from the Prentiss incident had been healing well, except the ones on his hands and face. He'd always struggled not to pick on his skin. The acne scars from his teenage years were still visible. 

“I’m worried one of my assistants murdered Gertrude.”

Daisy looked at him like he was insane. “You… Know we’re on the case, right? Basira’s leading it.”

“You’re gonna look at me and tell me cops are going to try and solve it? I know very well they drop pretty much all of the Institute related cases.”

“Hey, ‘Sira’s working on it, seriously!”

“As much as i don’t doubt her capabilities, I… She won’t be able to find the answers alone! There’s every possibility that Sasha, Tim or Martin were the ones who killed her!”

“You paranoid bastard.” She punched him in the shoulder, pretty hard. He felt a few of the scabs reopen and start to bleed onto the bandages. “Daisy. I’m injured.” 

“You deserved that. Any-fucking-ways, there’s no way that either of your assistants murdered them. No fucking way.”

“And how the hell would you know?”

“Martin’s too much of a goody two shoes, he'd cry if he accidentally stepped on a spider," Jon winced, remembering the numerous times Martin had insisted on bringing the spiders outside instead of killing them. "Tim may look strong but the man’s a twink." Not wrong. "Sasha would have probably blackmailed Gertrude into quitting her job if that what she was aiming for.” Seemed accurate.

Jon sat silently, thinking it over.

“There's no way it wasn’t someone from the Institute. It has to be.”

“Have you... “

“No wait. Shit, i completely forgot about the tunnels!”

“The what now?”

“The tunnels! Under the Institute! Daisy I have to go in there I have to look for more clues i can’t ju-” She stopped him, grabbing his hand sharply to stop him from scratching at his hand.

“Listen, Sims, you’re so fucking dumb. You’re friends with two fucking cops and you know very well I’m not afraid to go outside the law to help you, you know? I want this solved as much as you do!”

“Will… Will you help me, Daisy?”

“Of course, that’s literally all you needed to ask. And hey,” She got up, and tossed him one of Gertrude’s tapes. “You’re more experienced with these. I’ll sneak some more out for you and bring em over.”

Jon sat there, stunned. “I- I don’t know how to th-”

“You can thank me by apologizing to your boys and Sasha. And for god’s sake please get your head out of your ass and ask them out.”

“I’m sure-”

“Nope. No arguing. I have to get back to work. If you haven’t done anything about this i'll shoot you.”

“Please don’t.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy we may be getting somewhere!! Next few chapters will be going a bit back to texting since i need that comedy content to distract from jon being an ass!
> 
> Sorry for not updating yesterday i haven't been feeling too hot the past few days!! hopefully ill have another chapter out tonight to make up for it <3
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E join us u get early access content :))
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	28. Strawberry Tea and Apologies

_**R/shittyemplyees - This subreddit is about all the Shitty Employees that work for me and just how in general they are terrible people.**_

_6 members 2 online_

_This Subreddit is about all the Shitty Employees that work for me and just how in general they are terrible people_

**CREATE POST**

* * *

^

0 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 a week ago_

v

**SHITTY EMPLOYEE #3 IS A FUCKING DUMBASS**

i KNOW im not supposed to be spying on my employees but GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! the idiot just SITS THERE! THEYRE CUDDLING AND HE THINKS THEY DONT WANNA DATE HIM??? I WANNA RUIN THIS BITCH’S LIFE BUT OH MY GOD ITS FRUSTRATING EVEN TO ME AND IVE BEEN DIVORCED LIKE 10 TIMES

2 Comments - Share - Save °°°

> ^ _RainAndShips_
> 
> 1 11
> 
> v
> 
> ^ _sweetdude7788_
> 
> 1 dont try and correct me you left the shower on this morning
> 
> v
> 
> ^ _RainAndShips_
> 
> 2 i wanted the plant to feel envy
> 
> v

^

1 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 2 weeks ago_

v

**shitty employee #4 found my sex tape**

yeah. im so sorry rosie peter isnt that good in bed

34 Comments - Share - Save °°°

^

2 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 a day ago_

v

 **im not numbering them anymore he fucking. he walked in there. HE WALKED INTO THE BUILDING THAT IVE** **_SAID_ ** **HAS** **_DANGEROUS CHEMICALS_ ** **WITHOUT A MASK**

I made the wrong choice i should have promoted the smart one why did i pick jon why the fuck did i pick jon hes gonna die before i finish my plans

0 Comments - Share - Save °°°

^

435 _Posted by u/sweetdude7788 A week ago_

_v_

**rosie found the whole box**

is it selfcest?

213 Comments - Share - Save °°°

* * *

**Private message to sasha**

_ InspectorLyf has unblocked SishSash _

**InspectorLyf:** Sasha? I’d uh

**InspectorLyf:** I’d like to apologize

**InspectorLyf:** I was being really unfair and i realized that I. Probably shouldn’t fall back into those habits

**SishSash** : Hey Jon, its okay

**SishSash:** I forgive you

**SishSash:** I didn’t mean to poke into it to much

**InspectorLyf:** No no don’t 

**InspectorLyf:** You were right and i really was being unfair

**InspectorLyf:** I care about you too and i really need to. work on this

**SishSash:** Daisy talk to you?

**InspectorLyf:** yeah 

**InspectorLyf:** about that. Um I won’t dump this on you but when we’re able to go back to work I’ll need to talk to you about something

**SishSash:** Just me?

**InspectorLyf:** nono all of the… What was did tim call it? Archive buddies

**SishSash:** dont act like u dont like it

**InspectorLyf:** shut up

**SishSash:** anyways. you know you need to apologize to them too right

**InspectorLyf:** .

**InspectorLyf:** yeah

**InspectorLyf:** i guess im a bit nervous

**SishSash:** its gonna go fine. now go

**SishSash:** spread ur wings, young bird

**InspectorLyf:** oh shut up

**SishSash:** hah

* * *

**“The boys”**

**InspectorLyf:** um

**InspectorLyf:** i am so so sorry

**InspectorLyf:** genuinely this time

**TimStonks:** i sure fucking hope so.

**TimStonks:** you were a real asshole

**InspectorLyf:** i know. I really was

**InspectorLyf:** I just… I have a hard time dealing with emotions and it was unfair of me to take them out on you

**TimStonks:** yeah it was

**TimStonks:** where are you?

**InspectorLyf:** I’m sitting outside the police station on brompton road

**InspectorLyf:** ill head back in a bit i just need to cool off a bit and clear my mind cause well

**InspectorLyf:** talked with daisy it was kind of alot

**TimStonks:** okay good good

**TimStonks:** just head back soon

**TimStonks:** Martin’s been worrying himself to death, only just got him to take a nap

**InspectorLyf:** oh 

**InspectorLyf:** ill pick up some of his favorite tea from that fancy shop for him

**InspectorLyf:** he deserves it after dealing with me

**TimStonks:** hes still in this gc

**InspectorLyf:** hes asleep

**InspectorLyf:** anyways see you in a bit love you

_ InspectorLyf is offline. _

**TimStonks:** uh

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi i hope u enjoy this chapter!!! always special thanks to the discord server for helping me name my chapters!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Anyways. i lied when u said id be doing more chat chapters, next one is a text one but its cute pining so yall forgive me right?
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/ca23UWR
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	29. Lemon Drop Tea and Soft kisses

Jon walked out of T2 with 8 boxes of tea. He didn’t anticipate buying that much, but well he couldn’t decide on which one to buy after buying Martin’s favorite and the sales assistants had loads of suggestions. And were very persuasive. 

Next was finding something for Tim. He’d pondered on it while walking back to his apartment, and walked past a bookstore. He stopped, looking inside the shop window and saw a bookbinding kit. It’s.. He was sure Tim would like it.

And that's how he arrived at his apartment. A big box of tea with a pretty hefty bookbinding kit stacked on top of it. It wasn’t that big but Jon was a small man. 

He quietly placed the box down next to the kitchen door and walked in, sliding his shoes off.

Martin and Tim were sitting on the couch. The both of them looked up as Jon walked in. Martin was adorable clutching a mug of hot tea and Tim was holding his phone. He swore he saw the tiktok logo on it.

“Jon! You’re back!”

“Hello Martin, Tim. I’m… I really have to apologize again-” He looked at the ground, slightly hiding his face with his hair that for once, wasn’t tied up and a little tangled from the wind.

“It’s fine Jonny, you don’t need to apologize again.”

“Don't call me that. But-”

“No buts we’re gonna watch a movie.”

“Oh um- Wait!” 

He quickly turned back, bringing the box with him. “I.. I wanted to get an apology gift.” He walked over, sitting down on the couch and handing Martin the box with quite a lot of tea tins, prettily packaged with some kind of shiny blue paper and Tim the square one with red wrapping.

“Jon you really didn’t need to-” Jon shook his head, interrupting Martin. “I wanted to.”

He watched the both of them open the boxes, face tomato red, still hiding himself behind his hair.

“Bloody hell Jon, this is a lot of tea!” He awkwardly turned to look out the window. “I- Uh- I didn’t know what to get so I kind of… Got everything?” Martin smiled at him, reaching over to grab his hand. “T-Thank you!”

Tim moved so he was closer to Jon and pulled him into a tight hug. He swore his heart hadn’t stopped racing since Jon came back. Well, ever since Jon sent that text. He.. He didn’t mean it like that right? Well. He could focus on that later.

“Thanks Jon, I- You’re not as bad at giving gifts as i thought!”

“What does that mean!” Martin burst out laughing at the indigned look on Jon’s face. 

“Jon, babe, you literally gifted half of the office socks at christmas!”

He spluttered “Th- Sasha said it was a good idea!” 

“Sure she did!”

“Hey, I considered buying you a bong.”

“What.”

The evening continued on something like that, the three of them cuddling up under a single blanket to watch some shitty romcom, and eventually falling asleep in Jon’s bed. 

It was a real mystery how the hell the three of them weren’t together yet.

* * *

The morning after happened as the three of them were somewhat used to at this point. Jon refusing to move from his spot in either Tim or Martin’s arms, and having to eventually drag him out with the promise of breakfast.

They were out of well… Mostly everything. Jon tried to go and stock up on groceries but Martin refused. Tim tried and Martin pulled out the “You’re injured!” Card. So Jon and Tim were sitting on the couch, each a cooling mug of tea in hand.

“So uh… Jon?” Jon looked up, peering at Tim curiously. Tim took a deep breath.

“Yesterday, you… In the chat?” Jon blinked, confused. He tried thinking back to what he had sai- Oh. Oh he didn’t remember doing that. How the hell did he let it slip? 

Tim put his mug down on the coffee table to take Jon’s hands in his.

“I… I get it if you meant it in a friendly way or like…” He went silent, blushing bright red as he turned to look out the window.

“It’s uh. I’m.. I-” Jon tried stuttering through an excuse before catching himself. He… He wanted to avoid lying to them again. And if that was Tim figuring out his unrequited crush well, he’d have to deal with it.

“N-No. I ment it. Well... It slipped out and i didn’t mean it but I do, you know, Um… Like you in a romantic way. Yes.” Tim looked back at him, a smile creeping up on his face. Jon was looking at their intertwined hands, bracing himself for rejection he was sure to come. “Jon. Idiot. you fucking dumbass. Did you know how long i spent torturing myself over this? Seriously.”

“W-What? What do you mean? I mean Tim I- I know you like Martin so you don’t need to spare my feelings or-”

At that point Tim took Jon’s face in his hands, kissing him to shut him up. It only lasted a few seconds but Jon was red as a tomato and covered his face with his hands. 

“I like you back, you dumbass.

“Y-Yeah! I figured that!” He was hiding a wide smile, leaning into Tim’s arms. Tim chuckled, pulling him almost into his lap and lying back so Jon was sprawled on top of him.

“And just to make it clear… Yeah. I like Martin too. So do you, right?” Jon mutely nodded. 

“I’d understand if you.. If you wanted to date Martin too.” He froze. “You… Uh, are we dating?”

“If that's what you want, yes.” He placed a soft kiss on the top of Jon’s head. “And jesus christ you’re so thick. You know Martin likes you too, right?”

“H- He likes you, Tim don’t be ridiculous.” 

“Jon. The three of us sleep in the same bed every night. Literally. He clings onto you so much it looks like he never wants to let you go! You’ve gotta have figured out by now that the three of us are a possibility, right?”

“What.”

“Yeah.” Tim chuckled, topping it off with a kiss on Jon’s forehead.

* * *

Martin walked to the tube in a mute feeling of empty sadness. He’d… Well he’d checked the chat log from when he was asleep on the way out of the apartment. He couldn’t help but think back to Jon’s ‘love you’ sent to Tim. Was it platonic? Was it romantic? Tim liked Jon and would probably be overjoyed. Tim didn’t mention it to Martin though, what was he supposed to think?

He got onto the tube to head to the big shopping center. He could have just as well gone to the corner store but he needed to clear his mind. And they needed new bandages because Jon kept moving too much and bleeding through his.

Thoughts kept bouncing in his head along the entire ride and walk up to the big Sainsbury's. They had to go back to work on monday, it was friday. He’d have to move back into his apartment and he really, really didn’t want to. He felt... Alone. He couldn't really focus on himself and well. He should be happy for Tim and Jon! Really! He felt like an asshole.

He got his phone out.

* * *

**Private message to sasha "kill his ass" james**

**Marson:** Sasha?

**SishSash:** martin!! hey love whats up?

**Marson:** i think jon n tim r dating

**SishSash:** finally

**Marson:** w

**Marson:** what 

**SishSash:** im so glad you three got ur head out of ur ass

**Marson:** no sash

**Marson:** like

**Marson:** i am dating neither of them

**Marson:** [screenshot of Jon’s love you]

**SishSash:** … how the hell are you so thick

**SishSash:** i GUARANTEE you that if you walked up to either of them right now and told them you loved them they’d be overjoyed and kiss u on the spot

**Marson:** no way

**SishSash:** im friends with idiots

**SishSash:** just. go tell them!

**Marson:** I’m out shopping!!!!!!

**SishSash:** finisj shopping then go get ur fucking boys, gay ass

**Marson:** allright

**Marson:** thanks, sash

**Marson:** Ill talk to you later xx

  
 **SishSash:** bye! love you!!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the tea shop is entirely the discord servers fault 😔 cant believe them.
> 
> but yeah shout out to all the discord peeps theyre the best!!!
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/N2BK49B
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	30. English Breakfast and Welp, that's on you Elias!!

Let’s say, the rest of the day didn’t go as well as planned. Martin got back, quickly putting away the shopping. Tim and Jon tried to talk to him, but he slipped away with the excuse of a migraine.

Jon had gone to bring him a mug of tea and some painkillers but realized that Martin had retreated to the guest room. 

It went similarly all weekend, Marin avoiding them in completely, even going as far as saying he needed to grab things from his apartment and not coming back. They’d texted him worriedly but it yielded no answer.

Martin, however, was not doing well. He was lucky that avoiding people when he needed to was a skill that he’d honed for years. He’d always forced himself to be clumsy and take up space. He had made it obvious so much that people had a hard time really seeing him when he wasn’t his usual, bubbly self. He didn’t really  _ want _ to avoid Jon and Tim, but well. He didn’t want to deal with them being lovey dovey. He had already walked in to the both of them wrapped up in each other on the couch. 

* * *

**Private message to call the divorce lawyers again**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Peter, love?

**Plukas:** What do you want, Elias.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Hey now, i’m being civil!

**Plukas:** I’ll be civil when you tell me where my full discography of sea shanties Compact Disk is.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Ugh. If i tell you will you do me a small favor?

**Plukas:** I suppose.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I need you to watch over the Institute today and tomorrow.

**Plukas:** And why are you asking me this.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Well… I was planning on going with my original order of marking my dear Archivist with the entities but Nikola told me that it was ‘Cancelling the unknowing’ because ‘Our band had a concert when we planning it so I’ve decided to wait a few years!’

**Plukas:** I don’t know what you expected, you can’t really see into the future.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Hush now

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Anyways, will you watch over the building? I feel like having a spa weekend and one of the Archivist’s assistants is… Particularly vulnerable to isolation at the moment. :)

**Plukas:** Well, I suppose I’ll see you tonight then?

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Of course! I’ll call the divorce lawyers and tell them to cancel! 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Your CD is under the bathroom cupboard, by the way.

**Plukas:** Sigh.

**Plukas:** I’ll be home by 9.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Can’t wait! <3

* * *

**“Archive Buddies!!”**

**SishSash:** martin where r u??

**SishSash:** u better not be stuck in your apartment again

**InspectorLyf:** yes it would not be ideal

**Marson:** Sorry. Peter Lukas called me into his office this morning saying Elias was off on business for the next few days.

**Marson:** He said he needed an assistant so I wont be down in the archives for a while.

**InspectorLyf:** oh

**InspectorLyf:** well, have fun i suppose!

**TimStonks:** you better be joining us for lunch gun emoji

**SishSash:** never type out an emoji ever again or ill actually get a gun

**Marson:** Not sure I can. Depends on the workload.

**InspectorLyf:** alrighty then

**InspectorLyf:** have a good day! <3

**TimStonks:** yeah!! dont forget us cause u have a fancy new position now!!

**SishSash:** See you, love!

* * *

_ InspectorLyf has added SishSash and TimStonks _

_InspectorLyf has named the chat "Intervention"_

_TimStonks has renamed the chat "gay intervention"_

**InspectorLyf:** something is up with martin

**TimStonks:** no shit

**SishSash:** definitely

**InspectorLyf:** I mentioned this briefly this morning, sasha, but martin seemed to be evading us all weekend?

**SishSash:** did the three of you not sort your shit out??

**TimStonks:** we sure as hell tried to

**TimStonks:** its pretty obvious but me n jon r a thing now

**InspectorLyf:** tim!

**TimStonks:** sasha would have found out in seconds babe

**InspectorLyf:** ugh

**SishSash:** i figured

**SishSash:** martin panic texted me bcs he thought u two were dating

**InspectorLyf:** when?? 

**SishSash:** he said he was out shopping?

**InspectorLyf:** we literally. started dating literally minutes after he left

**TimStonks:** we wanted to yknow

**InspectorLyf:** ask him to join us when he came back

**SishSash:** tim stop using both ur and jons phone to text i can see you in jons office

**TimStonks:** killjoy

**InspectorLyf:** shush now, tim

**InspectorLyf:** but yeah, we wanted to talk to him when he got back but he just went to the guest room saying he had a migraine when he hasnt slept there since last week

**TimStonks:** yeah, and he left in the morning saying he needed shit from his place with barely a goodbye and didn’t answer our texts or calls

**SishSash:** thats. Jesus christ im gonna go march up to his office

**SishSash:** if my talking to doesnt work, im showing him these texts

**TimStonks:** sasha no i wanted to do this in a more romantic way

**SishSash:** Tim, not to crush your dreams but i don’t think theres a single romantic bone in your body

**TimStonks:** fuck you i have a boyfriend now

**InspectorLyf:** shes right.

**TimStonks:** JON >:(

**InspectorLyf:** Anyways, we can sort this out on our lunch break. Lets get to work.

**SishSash:** jon you’re in tims lap.

**InspectorLyf:** shut up

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it was going so well! :)
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/N2BK49B
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	31. Lavender Honey Tea and Sometimes your last name is secretary and what about it?

**“Archive hate club”**

**LastNameSecretary:** do any of yall know why tf martin is blasting mitski and more specifically strawberry blonde like. super fucking loudly thru the door of the office next to elias' office

**CantDress:** why the hell would i know

**TheMarriedOne:** hes pining

**LastNameSecretary:** when is he not

**TheMarriedOne:** i think its bcs i saw jon and tim cuddling in the breakroom

**TheMarriedOne:** ive never seen jon so……..

**TheMarriedOne:** emotive

**LastNameSecretary:** oh jeez

**LastNameSecretary:** dont both tim and jon like martin tho

**CantDress:** did u seriously expect the three of them to like

**CantDress:** date

**CantDress:** without a bit of drama

**LastNameSecretary:** you just have low expectations for them bcs tim called u out on ur shit sense of style david

**CantDress:** well fuck you rosie

**TheMarriedOne:** hah

**TheMarriedOne:** also im like. i keep getting hr complaints about jon???? again??? im on like complaint 43

**LastNameSecretary:** how the hell

**LastNameSecretary:** hes a fuckin archivist how the fuck is he getting complaints from research

**TheMarriedOne:** can u fucking blame him research sucks

**CantDress:** hey now

**LastNameSecretary:** just bcs ur the head of research doesnt mean we have to respect u david

**TheMarriedOne:** one of the interns literally dropped ketchup in his company computer and tried to get it refunded

**TheMarriedOne:** he literally said it was bcs he drank ketchup by the bottle and dropped it on his keyboard

**LastNameSecretary:** what the fuuuuck

**TheMarriedOne:** i hate working hr

**CantDress:** hannah i have to literally fucking have to work with them

**CantDress:** they silly stringed my desk

**LastNameSecretary:** lol rip

**LastNameSecretary:** all i do it sit here and have to deal with elias’ weird flirting technique with plukas

**CantDress:** plukas??

**LastNameSecretary:** peter lukas

**LastNameSecretary:** i swear elias asked me to call their divorce lawyers at least twice this month

**TheMarriedOne:** unsurprising

**TheMarriedOne:** didnt u find their sex tapes

**LastNameSecretary:** y e a h

**LastNameSecretary:** fucking. elias had a sex tape of him and the previous head of the institute fucking???

**CantDress:** and you WATCHED THEM??

**LastNameSecretary:** fuck off im naturally curious

**TheMarriedOne:** god i feel so bad for u

**LastNameSecretary:** muah 😘 thats for u and only u hannah

**CantDress:** im being excluded

**LastNameSecretary:** oh shit is that peter lukas walking over ehat the fuck

**TheMarriedOne:** bye lol

* * *

**Private message to New food**

**Plukas:** Martin, would you be a dear and bring over the disappearing stone case file? Elias mentioned it having relevant information

_ Marson has changed their username to Martin _

**Martin:** Of course Mr. Lukas.

**Plukas:** Thank you.

**Plukas:** I’ll be needing you at lunch too, if that's not a bother?

**Martin:** No problem.

* * *

**Private message from Tim <3**

**TimStonks:** jon

**TimStonks:**

jooooooon

**TimStonks:** jon jon jon jon jon

**InspectorLyf:** what do you want tim

**InspectorLyf:** you're supposed to be working

**TimStonks:** its lunch time babe

**InspectorLyf:** oh

**InspectorLyf:** I’m sorry, i didnt see the time pass

**TimStonks:** no worries boss man!! im comin to pick u up and then were breaking into the room martin is working in

**InspectorLyf:** did you flirt with david again to find out where he was stationed

**TimStonks:** no comment

**TimStonks:** dont worry u n martin are the only ones for me <3

**InspectorLyf:** .

**TimStonks:** im in front of ur door open up

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones dedicated to all my patreon bitches. the tma fluff episodes heal my heart and i needed some characters to interact with rosie bcs shes my wife and i love her!!
> 
> Also to clear things up for anyone confused: Rosie is the institutes secretary, shes mentioned in like 2 episodes and has one line.  
> david is some dude who dresses badly that tim judged aka i made him head of research  
> and hannah is married. i made her work in HR.   
> all of these r canon characters but again, they're mentioned in one of the tma patron fluff episodes (except rosie)! Would recommend joining the patreon just for that and more even!!!
> 
> 🔫<\- this is for the discord server. come join our cult (for legal reasons thats a joke)
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/N2BK49B
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	32. Fennel Tea and Thick fog

Martin had been silently shivering all morning. He didn’t expect Peter Lukas to show up in the break room before Jon and Tim arrived to ask him to become his assistant for the couple days while Elias was away on ‘Business’.

His job wasn’t that hard, but he’d originally planned to try and awkwardly apologize for his weird behavior the past two days to Tim and Jon. But now he was sitting in a cold, empty office room where Peter had assigned him to work, chewing on the end of his pen as he scribbled down notes. The fog was clinging to him like a blanket, and he shivered again.

He missed Jon and Tim. He knew his decision to be rude and leave Jon’s without so much of a reply was ridiculous but he… He couldn’t bring himself to watch them be lovey dovey. He wanted to pack up all of his things to move back but he hadn’t realized how ingrained he was into Jon’s home until he saw his books seamlessly blended into the bookshelf next to Jon’s and all of his tea in a separate cupboard Jon had emptied just for him. He’d grabbed his clothes and left, hoping to have an excuse to come back to see Jon’s home one last time. But now they probably never wanted to talk to him again. He had ignored all of their texts and phone calls, listening back to the voicemails and rereading all of the caring messages they’d sent without so much of a reply.

He’d even completely ignored Sasha as she tried to knock on the door this morning, keeping it locked and staying mute. He was such a dick. 

* * *

Tim and Jon were walking up the stairs to the 3rd floor where Martin’s apparent office was located as they bumped into Peter Lukas. Jon had only heard about Lukas when Elias mentioned finances and through the few statements he’d read. He hadn’t noticed how much more energetic he was after spending the morning reading them. 

Peter Lukas was somehow both an imposing figure and a fleeting face. It wasn’t visible, but both Jon and Tim could feel the thick, dense fog surrounding the man.

“Ah, I wasn’t expecting to meet you today, Archivist!” Lukas extended a hand. “I suppose you already know this, but Peter Lukas, a pleasure to meet you!” 

Jon reluctantly shook his hand, and Tim gave a sharp nod, acknowledging Peter.

“Likewise. So, what exactly brings you to the Institute?”

“Elias is taking… a couple days off. He asked me to take care of a few things! I do however apologize for stealing one of your assistants.” Peter chuckled dryly. It resonated in Jon’s bones and he started to feel budding anger.

“Why… Exactly did you need an assistant? It’s only for two days, I find it hard to believe that it's necessary.” The larger man narrowed his eyes, forcing a smile. 

“I have a few plans to… Help your dear Martin.” He moved to walk around Tim, who had been silently glaring at Peter during the entire conversation, and too a step down the stairs. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Jonathan, Tim, I have business to take care of.” He walked away without waiting for a reply.

“Now that wasn’t dodgy at all…” Muttered Tim. Jon took his hand, squeezing it. “Certainly. But… Let’s go talk to Martin.” The both of them continued up. 

“If what Sasha said still applies, Martin’s door will probably be locked” Tim whispered as they got to the third floor. Jon nodded, reaching for something in his pocket. “Yes, I considered that. I came prepared.” He opened his hand to show Tim some weirdly bent paper clips, open and… Was this a-

“To pick the lock, yes.”

Tim gave him a look.

“Don’t look at me like that, Love. I learned it… Hoping to impress Georgie back in college.” 

Tim chuckled loudly “Holy shit babe, that… Yeah i can see you doing that.” He playfully knocked into Jon’s shoulder as they arrived at the door to the room Martin was supposedly working. “Are… Should I knock?” Asked Jon. “I’ll do it, then if he doesn't reply, you’ll pick the lock?” Jon nodded.

Tim rapped his fist against the door. “Martin? Can I.. Have a moment to talk?”

Behind the door, Martin froze, looking up from what seemed the 10th piece of identical paperwork. Mr. Lukas had asked him not to let anyone in at any cost. It was weird, Peter Lukas never seemed to use the door. He was just… There. The knock came again and he jumped, startled as Tim’s voice rang out. “Marto, c’mon, you can’t avoid us forever!” Us? So Jon was there too. 

He didn’t want to disobey Peter Lukas. The man was terrifying.

He heard a sigh across the door, and the handle moved and there where some clicking noises. It was locked, what were they doing? He was still frozen in fear, grey sweater doing nothing to stop the chill of the room as he wished he could disappear. He wanted more than  _ anything _ to talk to them but he wasn’t ready! He wasn’t prepa-

The door opened, Jon getting up from his knees. “U-Uh- How did you get In!” Martin cursed internally. He didn’t want to act like this. He wanted to talk to them normally, fall into Tim and Jon’s arms in a hug, hoping to warm up from the bone chilling cold.

“Martin,” Jon took a step forward, Tim moving to lean against the Desk that Mr. Lukas had told him he could use. “U-Um you… You can’t be in here!”

“Martin, stop being ridiculous, what happened?” Jon voice was sharp, but undeniably concerned. “Yeah, c’mon, it's not like you to avoid us…”

Shit. Tim sounded sad. He hated making Tim sad.

“I’m… Just trying to do my work, what’s the problem?”

Jon sighed, looking at him. “Martin, what’s going on?” His voice sounded… Different. It felt like there was static in the air. 

“I’ve been avoiding you because I’m pretty sure you two are dating and I can’t can’t stand seeing that when I’m in love with the both of you!” Martin’s eyes widened, slapping a hand over his mouth, bright red. "I didn't mean to say that!"

Tim and Jon looked at each other, confused. Jon… Didn’t really understand what had happened. Did he… Make Martin say that? There was no way that was possible. He shoved it to the back of his mind, to worry about later. 

Tim sighed loudly. “Martin, Marto, Love. You are so fucking stupid.” 

“Wh-What?” Martin stuttered out, head snapping up, looking confused, but mortified. 

Tim went to walk around the desk, grabbing the head of Martin’s spinny chair and turning it so he could grab Martin’s face in a quick, hard kiss. 

Jon smiled looking at them. He was glad Tim was here, he wasn’t always the best at expressing his emotions, so he yes, he was glad.

As Tim pulled back, Martin stared wide eyed, quickly looking at both Tim and Jon, face red. 

“T-Tim what- But you and Jon!”

“Martin, we’ve been trying to talk to you all weekend,” Jon moved to stand next to Tim as he talked, grabbing Martin’s hand and pulling him up to stand. “We want… You. Aswell. Um…” Jon had no idea how to ask this. Speaking really wasn’t his forte. 

“We want to date you too, is what Jon’s trying to say, Marto.”

“W-Wait- Uh- Seriously? B-But that's not possible, is it?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Jon squeezed Martin’ hand. “There's no rule that says the three of us can’t.”

“Are you serious? T- This isn’t a joke right?

“I would never joke about something like that, Martin.” said Jon as Tim chuckled, watching the both of them with a lovestruck look. 

“Well. Um. Y-Yes.” Martin mumbled out, cheeks flaming and looking at his and Jon’s intertwined hands. “A-About the dating thing! I’d love to d-date the both of you!” 

There was a moment of silence as a smile crept on both Tim and Jon's faces.

“Hell yes!” Tim pulled both Jon and Martin into a tight hug, laughing, Jon squished between the two of them disgruntledly as Martin giggled, tears forming in his eyes.

He was happy. He couldn’t feel the cold anymore.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided i wouldn't make yall wait for another 3 chapters <33  
> But here the plot starts!  
> For all yall monsterfuckers jons still gonna got batshit im just gonna make it happen in a different, funnier way!
> 
> Hope yall enjoyed!! (Sorry for not replying to yalls comment it might take me a few days i just don't have the mental strength for it i hope yall understand <3)
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/N2BK49B
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> Also! I went back on my first chapters and fixed the formatting! I did't change much text wise except a few typos, but now the formatting should be uniform on the fic! also updated the tags!


	33. Caramel Vanilla Tea and God damn it Nikola

**“fuck elias squad”**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Why exactly are all of you changing the chat name every second?

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** And why this particular name?

**muffet:** plukas was telling us abt how he fucked up marking the archivist and now 3 of ur assistants r dating

**MoisturizeMe:** Jon finally got his shit together? Oh my! How could he not have told me! I feel offended, betrayed!

**TenTickles:** lol

**MoisturizeMe:** Don’t you lol me, Oliver! Ill take your skin!

**TenTickles:** u can try :)

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** He what.

**muffet:** yeah he’s kind of a loser

**muffet:** didnt u just get remarried

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Unfortunately.

**Plukas:** Well excuse me, I had no idea your Archivist could pick locks! I would have placed Martin a more secure room until i could draw Jon to the Lonely!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I hate you.

**muffet:** off subject but how long is it gonna take jane to re-worm herself we were supposed to go on a date but SOMEONE fucking cremated her.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** She’ll find a new body soon enough.

**muffet:** ugh

* * *

**“Pump me boys”**

**MoisturizeMe:** Jonathan! How dare you not tell me you finally got together with your boyfriends! I am offended!

**InspectorLyf:** oh uh

**DaisyFan69:** he was too busy making out with em

**DaisyFan69:** only reason i know is bcs i went to give my statement and i walked in on the three of them

**InspectorLyf:** _ basira. _

**DaisyFan69:** haha

**MoisturizeMe:** I am so happy for you! I am glad that horrible Elias could not get in between you!

**InspectorLyf:** yeah about that nikki how the fuck do u know elias bcs this is getting fuckin weird

**GpJordan:** that elias guy also called me to cremate the weird worm lady

**InspectorLyf:** really? thats. this is weird. this is really fucking weird.

**MoisturizeMe:** Well, If you really want to know

**MoisturizeMe:** He asked me a favor, and i was _ supposed _ to be starting a world ending ritual to mark you but the dates didn’t line up since we had planned DTTM!

**GpJordan:** oop we lost another to the useless add on purchase squad

**InspectorLyf:** fuck you jordan

**InspectorLyf:** also what do you mean mark me

**InspectorLyf:** _what do you mean world ending ritual_

**InspectorLyf:** what the FUCK

**MoisturizeMe:** Well, those weren’t his exact words, i already had the ritual planned, but it is what it entailed yes! But as i said, Death to the mechanisms!

**DaisyFan69:** this is. Should i be reporting elias? ive met him a few times bcs there apparently a lot of fucking crime at your institute

**DaisyFan69:** but as i said in my statement jon, no one does jack shit abt anything

**DaisyFan69:** this is all very terrifying

**GpJordan:** ye a h.

**GpJordan:** not gonna lie ive also had some pretty fucked up shit happen when i burned that corpse, might come give a statement too

**InspectorLyf:** I think i need to lie down

_ InspectorLyf is offline. _

* * *

**Private Message to why is she still a cop**

**InspectorLyf:** hey

**InspectorLyf:** are you still down to go into the tunnels this evening?

**AcaBasira:** ofc

**AcaBasira:** i got some extra torches from that surplus store n some snacks

**InspectorLyf:** nice

**InspectorLyf:** meet at 8? I still havent had the chance to tell tim martin n sasha everything 

**InspectorLyf:** but i told them id explain everything tomorrow

**AcaBasira:** good

**AcaBasira:** we dont want another gay disaster

**InspectorLyf:** shut up

**AcaBasira:** hah

**AcaBasira:** gotta get back to work

**AcaBasira:** see u tonight

  
**InspectorLyf:** see you tonight

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want yall to know that i always read all ur comments and i love u all so much im 🥰🥰🥰
> 
> also if you have any suggestions of what characters you want to see more of any specific things that might be cool or funny!!!!!! i am open ears!
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	34. Orange and Turmeric and Gross. Gays in the chat.

**“The boys”**

_ TimStonks has renamed the chat Boyfriends <33 _

**Martin:** awww cute

**TimStonks:** <3<3<3 love u 

**Martin:** im gonna make tea!! brb 

_ Martin is offline. _

_ TimStonks has changed Martin’s username to Muffin. _

**InspectorLyf:** :0

**TimStonks:** don’t :0 me its v cute when he blushes bcs i call him that

**InspectorLyf:** understandable

**InspectorLyf:** our boyfriend……. very cute

**TimStonks:** agree… martin soft

**InspectorLyf:** look at him

**InspectorLyf:** i can see him holding his cute fox mug 

**InspectorLyf:** i love him so much

**TimStonks:** he brought me a muffin this morning and i said it could never be as sweet as him and he was blushing it was adorable

**InspectorLyf:** yes…… every time i call him love i legally have to kiss him he is adorable

_ Muffin is offline. _

**Muffin:** guys!!!! i was just making tea

**InspectorLyf:** <3

**TimStonks:** <3

* * *

**“Archive buddies!!”**

  
  


**InspectorLyf:** This isnt a conversation i really want to have but i feel it is necessary.

**SishSash:** ?? whats up jonny boy

**TimStonks:** should i be worried and start panicking again

**InspectorLyf:** no no god no

**InspectorLyf:** is martin here too?

**SishSash:** he’s just talking to the follow up give him a moment

**TimStonks:** still upset u didnt let me go with :(

**InspectorLyf:** if i’d let you go with, you and martin would have never gotten any work done

**TimStonks:** true but :(

**Muffin:** im here im here whats going on 

**InspectorLyf:** okay great

**InspectorLyf:** so me and daisy have been investigating the tunnels under the institute

**TimStonks:** excuse me what

**SishSash:** ..yeah that tracks for u 

**SishSash:** kind of expected it from ur previous paranoid spell

**InspectorLyf:** wow

**InspectorLyf:** i dont know if i should be offended or not

**Muffin:** jon?!?! thats really dangerous!!

**TimStonks:** uh YEAH

**TimStonks:** please tell me you’re being careful and not reckless

**InspectorLyf:** wow none of you think im capable huh

**SishSash:** its not that we dont think that but ur known for making stupid decisions 

**InspectorLyf:** …

**SishSash:** don’t try and contradict me

**InspectorLyf:** ugh

**InspectorLyf:** and yes, by the way

**InspectorLyf:** i am being safe

**InspectorLyf:** i never go down without daisy (trust me shes threatened me twice with a gun)

**InspectorLyf:** aaannnd we have enough supplies to be stuck there for 2 days between us worst comes to worst

**Muffin:** well thats good i guess

**TimStonks:** as long as ur being safe babe 

**TimStonks:** more importantly did u find anything

**TimStonks:** joe spooky maybe?

**InspectorLyf:** ...

**InspectorLyf:** but yes

**InspectorLyf:** we think there might be someone living in the tunnels

**InspectorLyf:** and said someone killed getrude

**Muffin:** huh..

**SishSash:** huh……

**TimStonks:** this is all getting really fucking weird

**TimStonks:** have all of you noticed that we can’t quit

**Muffin:** .yeah

**InspectorLyf:** you tried to quit?

**TimStonks:** it was more out of curiosity than anything but it feels like we’re stuck. i didn’t actually try to quit properly but its just. a feeling that if i tried i don’t think i’d be able to leave

**SishSash:** yeah that tracks

**Muffin:** we all can agree that the supernatural is real right

**InspectorLyf:** i

**InspectorLyf:** dont want to call it that

**TimStonks:** ok mr skeptic man 

**InspectorLyf:** shush

**TimStonks:** coming to ur office btw i dont rlly wanna vibe alone when talking abt monsters and murder

**SishSash:** that sounds like a funky dnd podcast name

**Muffin:** ooo we should play dnd!!

**TimStonks:** yes!!!!!

**InspectorLyf:** hm.. maybe it might be a fun idea to distract ourselves. don’t think we’re doing it during work hours tim.

**TimStonks:** i wasnt gonna ask!

**SishSash:** you were

**TimStonks:** maybe

**InspectorLyf:** :/

**TimStonks:** oh nooo the neutral face of displeasure

**InspectorLyf:** just come here you idiot 

**SishSash:** gross. gays in the chat 

**Muffin:** :( 

**InspectorLyf:** i hope you'll back soon sweetheart <3 

**Muffin:** :)

**TimStonks:** <3<3<3

**SishSash:** GROSS. GAYS IN THE CHAT

  
**TimStonks:** piss off sash

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gross! gays in the chat! if you wanna see more gays in the chat and get previews and contribute to be being dumb and not knowing things join the discord server! we have fun!!
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	35. Berry 'n fudge Tea and Jon torture hours.

**“Archive buddies!”**

**InspectorLyf:** martin

**InspectorLyf:** as much as i love u if i have to hear my voice loudly singing about murder and violence through my office door while recording a statement ill shoot you

**Muffin:** >:)

**TimStonks:** oh no evil face muffin what crimes will he commit

**SishSash:** not to alarm you but elias is walking down to the archives

**TimStonks:** how do u know im staring right at u

**SishSash:** me n rosie text

**Muffin:** oh no

**TimStonks:** what did u do jon

**InspectorLyf:** why are you assuming i did something

**TimStonks:** bcs hes walking to ur office

**InspectorLyf:** o shit

* * *

**“Archive buddies!”**

  
  


**TimStonks:** what did he want

**InspectorLyf:** he asked me to be his divorce lawyer????

**InspectorLyf:** IM NOT A LAWYER????

**SishSash:** tf

**Muffin:** oh yeah peter mentioned that

**InspectorLyf:** you. talk with lukas?

**Muffin:** i dont really want to but he keeps messaging me and im too scared of him not to reply

**Muffin:** i mean i have blackmail on elias if anyone wants it

**SishSash:** hand it over 

**TimStonks:** martin you beautiful beautiful boy i love you so much

**Muffin:** _[Elias-Divorced-Me-Again.pdf]_

**Muffin:** its surprisingly organised by section and by crime and also by what exactly they keep getting divorced for?

**InspectorLyf:** can i show this to basira

**InspectorLyf:** i wanna see if she can arrest elias

**TimStonks:** oo fun

**SishSash:** jon! we should make a group chat with everyone!!!!

**InspectorLyf:** do you. really want that

**InspectorLyf:** you’re asking for chaos here sasha

**SishSash:** if you wont i will

  
 **InspectorLyf:** ugh

* * *

_InspectorLyf has created “sasha told me to make it”_

_InspectorLyf has added SishSash, TimStonks, Muffin, AcaBasira, DaisyFan69, WhatTheGeorgie, MelQueen, MoisturizeMe, GpJordan._

**InspectorLyf:** for legal reasons i regret this

**AcaBasira:** jon you’ve broken the law multiple times

**TimStonks:** you what

**InspectorLyf:** sorry darling thats 3rd date material

**TimStonks:** shut up this counts as a date

**WhatTheGeorgie:** arent all of u still at work

**WhatTheGeorgie:** jon just texted me about ur creepy boss asking him to be a divorce lawyer

**SishSash:** oh i kinda forgot about that

**Muffin:** oh yeah

**InspectorLyf:** glad to know that im so easily forgotten

**DaisyFan69:** why am i in this chat i dont want to be in this chat

**InspectorLyf:** basira we have dirt on elias

**DaisyFan69:** okay im listening

**Muffin:** _[Elias-Divorced-Me-Again.pdf]_

**InspectorLyf:** that

**DaisyFan69:** oh fuck yeah

**AcaBasira:** yeah so me and jonny boy think he killed gertrude

**GpJordan:** uh what is this chat

**InspectorLyf:** reunion of the people who constantly torture me

**InspectorLyf:** hello jordan

**GpJordan:** whats up first mate

**InspectorLyf:** _oh fuck you_

**TimStonks:** ok first mate

**InspectorLyf:** i will _leave your lap rn_ and walk out of the room tim

**MelQueen:** oh great i log on to jon being gay i want to leave

**Muffin:** are we just gloss over the murder accusation?!?!

**DaisyFan69:** apparently?

**AcaBasira:** oh ur good me n jon have been talking abt this in the conspiracy chat

**DaisyFan69:** its not a real chat the both of you havent typed a word and communicate entirely in brian david gilbert memes

**InspectorLyf:**

**DaisyFan69:** . i hate you

**GpJordan:** uh. tunnels?

**InspectorLyf:** yeah theres tunnels inder the institute we’re investigating

**Muffin:** are you going back tonight bubba?

**InspectorLyf:** big chance, honey <3

**SishSash:** for everyone not in the institute: Jon Tim and Martin are all lying on Jon’s scraggly office couch, i am not sure how all fit on there but Martin is halfway laying on it, Tim hugging him and Jon is…. Somewhere. Small man sunk in the boyfriends. You could literally talk to each other.

**InspectorLyf:** i hate u

**SishSash:** <3

**MelQueen:** fucking. gay as hell.

_MoisturizeMe is online._

**MoisturizeMe:** Oho. This seems interesting! :)

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me nd the discord chat. planning an extension to the series. if you wanna know more about it join the server gun emoji
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> im tired enjoy chapter gn


	36. White Lemon and Blossom Tea and Food crimes

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**InspectorLyf:** Nikki! hey

**InspectorLyf:** do u have some dirt u wanna spill on elias

**MositurizeMe:** Oh i am Always into spilling tea about Elias! If i can call him Elias?

**InspectorLyf:** still dont know how you know elias 

**InspectorLyf:** also why do you keep saying that

**DaisyFan69:** im so sick of all of u

_DaisyFan69 has changed her username to ProfessionalArsonist._

**InspectorLyf:** :( why basira it was fun

**AcaBasira:** jokes on u sims we have our admin perms back

**InspectorLyf:** please no

_AcaBasira has changed her username to furry_

**InspectorLyf:** and you had so many better choices

**furry:** :)

**InspectorLyf:** why do we keep getting off subject

**MoisturizeMe:** we’re gay

**InspectorLyf:** good point

* * *

**“Archive buddies!”**

**TimStonks:** sash

**TimStonks:** is there a way to get a boyfriend refund

**Muffin:** come one tim its not that bad

**SishSash:** oh god what did he do now

**TimStonks:** he make TEA with PASTA WATER

**Muffin:** i mean when you put it like that it is pretty bad

**TimStonks:** marto dont lie you considered breaking up with him

**Muffin:** listen! i dont understand how he can make his own delicious mint tea from mint he grows himself and they turn around and do THAT

**SishSash:** lol you should have seen when he made coffee with capri sun bcs he was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to grab some water

**TimStonks:** he WHAT

_InspectorLyf_ _is online._

**InspectorLyf:** its not _that_ bad

**TimStonks:** .

**Muffin:** …

**SishSash:** i cant wait till u guys discover more of jons food crimes

**InspectorLyf:** sash had basira told you about that time i drank ink

**SishSash:** yeah she sent me the pics

**SishSash:** sometimes i wonder how ur still alive

**TimStonks:** babe what the fuck

**Muffin:** ……… what the fuck

**TimStonks:** GASP

**TimStonks:** MARTIN SAID FUCK

**InspectorLyf:** .. yeah

**InspectorLyf:** im just a curious person

**InspectorLyf:** also. going back to the tunnels with daisy tonight dont wait for me!!

**Muffin:** okay, but stay safe! you have all the torches and extra batteries??

**InspectorLyf:** _yes,_ love

**Muffin:** I worry!!!

**TimStonks:** u better be safe 

**TimStonks:** we’ll pass bye to say goodbye n bring you dinner

**InspectorLyf:** i dont need you to bring me dinner!!!

**TimStonks:** so you’re going to remember to eat?

**InspectorLyf:** … 

**TimStonks:** exactly

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter ive been struggling to write recently pensive emoji 
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> im tired enjoy chapter gn


	37. Ginger Tea and What the FUCK is going on

**“Gossip Squad™”**

**SishSash:** rosie

**SishSash:** rosieeeee

**LastNameSecretary:** what

**SishSash:** would elias be more of a tom nook or crazy redd

**LastNameSecretary:** what the fuck are you on sasha 

**SishSash:** _@TimStonks_

**TimStonks:** oh so we’re bringing this to the gc

**SishSash:** yes.

**SishSash:** we’re playing animal crossing while jon is recording a statement

**TimStonks:** and redd’s on my island 

**SishSash:** we’re pretty sure they’re jilted ex lovers

**LastNameSecretary:** and why elias

**SishSash:** elias x peter lukas enemies to lovers to enemies 100k animal crossing au

**LastNameSecretary:** I reiterate, what the fuck are you on

**TimStonks:** answer the question rosie

**LastNameSecretary:** elias is tom nook

**SishSash:** u owe me 20 quid tim

**TimStonks:** god damn it

**LastNameSecretary:** i dont wanna think about my boss and his husband

**SishSash:** oh r they married again

**LastNameSecretary:** yeah,

**LastNameSecretary:** peter had. a bottle of something? i think it was fog??? delivered to the front desk so im assuming it was a gift

**SishSash:** huh weird

**TimStonks:** oh oh sorry sash cant pay u now jons finished his statement i need to kiss my bf

**SishSash:** get ur ass back here stoker

**LastNameSecretary:** gay people 😔

* * *

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**furry:** _[Blurry picture of Jon in the hallways, only lit by the flash and a torch light, falling foreward]_

**furry:** _[Jon lying face down on the floor]_

**furry:** he tripped

**ProfessionalArsonist:** AHSHGFDFFSD

**TimStonks:** i love him

**Muffin:** is he ok???

**InspectorLyf:** no offence but fuck you daisy

**InspectorLyf:** actually,

**InspectorLyf:** full offence, fuck you daisy

**furry:** <3

* * *

**“Lesbians unite (and bi girls too ig)”**

**SishSash:** melanie and georgie

**WhatTheGeorgie:** yes

**MelQueen:** what do u want

**SishSash:** so theres another channel speculating abt ur relationship???

**WhatTheGeorgie:** seriously?? thats like 5 now

**MelQueen:** idk i think its kinda funny

**SishSash:** its going full arg style now

**furry:** lol check twit

**MelQueen:** What 

* * *

**soso** @gayass2743

i am CONVINCED that melanie king and georgie barker are dating

> **↳ candie bell.** @kingkingcandy
> 
> theres no way i am 100% sure melanie king is straight
> 
> **↳ soso** @gayass2743
> 
> dude. she literally has a bi pin on in all of her videos in june
> 
> **↳ the real twit queen** @MealnieKingGHUK
> 
> im bi lol

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont have an excuse for this. also to clarify, all the food crimes in last chapter are things i have done. that is all
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	38. Star Mint Tea and Human Wikipedia

**“Capitalist Boomers”**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Peter.

**Vast is the Sexiest:** ohh drama in the lonelyeyes fandom 

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** what the fuck is lonelyeyes

**Vast is the Sexiest:** ur ship name

**Plukas:** What do you want, Elias.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** You stole my trees again.

**Plukas:** :)

_ Plukas is offline. _

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I’m calling the divorce lawyers again.

**Vast is the Sexiest:** wh

**Vast is the Sexiest:** trees???

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** animal crossing keep up. its competitive.

* * *

**“Plukas Simps”**

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** i fucking hate animal crossing

**Plukas:** You moved my house again. I TOLD you i do not want to be near the shops. I want to be isolated.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Seems like a you problem.

**muffet:** do

**muffet:** do you guys share an ac island

**Plukas:** unfortunately. 

**Plukas:** Elias said he ‘Needed the money for the Institute budget’ so we share a switch. I get it in the divorce.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Now come on, darling, don’t be like that!

**TenTickles:** living up to ur name, huh elias

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I will f*cking destroy you.

**worms:** why did you censor it

**muffet:** JANEEE UR BACK

**worms:** yes! sorry for bailing on our date 

**worms:** someone *coughs* elias

**worms:** decided to have me CREMATED

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** You agreed!

**worms:** i agreed to marking your archivist. not to being fucking cremated

**muffet:** elias cremated my gf now i guess i have to murder him 😔

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** id like to watch you try

**muffet:** you can’t fool me i know you’re almost as afraid of spiders as your archivist is.

**muffet:** check under your desk :)

_ Plukas’ sugar baby is offline _

**muffet:** :)

**worms:** i love you

**muffet:** <333

**muffet:** btw did u manage to stick to the same body orrr

**worms:** i found one in the trash its pretty hot

**muffet:** nice

* * *

**“Archive buddies!”**

_ SishSash has changed the chat name to “Jon, Human wikipedia.” _

**TimStonks:** wh

**TimStonks:** what

**SishSash:** jon. human wikipedia

**TimStonks:** that does not explain anything

_ InspectorLyf is online. _

**InspectorLyf:** sasha i am not wikipedia

**SishSash:** then how do u explain knowing things that you absolutely shouldnt know?!?!

**TimStonks:** wym

**SishSash:** he *knows* things abt me that ive killed and buried and told no one about?!?

**InspectorLyf:** really? i didn’t know it was that important

**InspectorLyf:** it just popped into my head

**TimStonks:** i havent said anything abt it but

**TimStonks:** u have been uh

**TimStonks:** knowing weirdly specific things

**InspectorLyf:** what??

**InspectorLyf:** not really

**Muffin:** dove, you ranted to me and tim about the ufo conspiracy theories telling exactly what they where and why they were there. thats without mentioning telling us whats allegedly in area 51

**InspectorLyf:** now come on

**TimStonks:** babe. idk how to tell you this but you might be human wikipedia

**SishSash:** sorry jonny boy :/

**InspectorLyf:** i hate you guys

**TimStonks:** no you don’t <3

**SishSash:** also speaking of those leitner books that keep popping up

**InspectorLyf:** yes? i believe i’ve read quite a lot of statements regarding them

**SishSash:** do u… think uve been infected by a wikipedia leitner

**InspectorLyf:** now come on, thats ridiculous

**TimStonks:** idk babe that seems like a possibility

**Muffin:** who knows? it could happen

**InspectorLyf:** you guys are the worst.

**InspectorLyf:** maybe i do end up knowing really specific information and not know how i do. and what about it? 

**InspectorLyf:** leave me to my conspiracies i need to know if the property brothers really kiss each other on the lips or not im pretty sure they do and i really really need to confirm it

_ InspectorLyf is offline. _

**TimStonks:** what a nerd

**Muffin:** he’s our nerd <3

**TimStonks:** yes <3

**SishSash:** oh my god please i do not want this

**TimStonks:** oh shut up i see u flirting with rosie

**SishSash: 🙂**

**TimStonks:** dont do that

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones dedicated to hamid. and willie. the two worst discord mods. love u guys <3
> 
> I wanted to include some funny screenshots but ao3 is homophobic 😔
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	39. Cranberry Apple Tea and Uh Oh, Leitners.

**“Boyfriends <33”**

**TimStonks:** hello my wonderful boyfriends

**TimStonks:** weeee r going on a date tonight

**InspectorLyf:** Tim, you know i’m going back to the tunnels with daisy, right?

**TimStonks:** oh come onnnn 

**TimStonks:** take one night off?

**InspectorLyf:** ugh

**Muffin:** pleaseee?

**InspectorLyf:** fine

**TimStonks:** haha my secret weapon, our very lovely boy, unresistable.

**Muffin:** Tim! >:(

**InspectorLyf:** He’s not wrong, you are adorable, sweetheart

**Muffin:** Says you!

**Muffin:** You’re so cute

**Muffin:** Basira sent me some photos of you in college!

**InspectorLyf:** oh no

**TimStonks:** MARTIN

**TimStonks:** i cant believe uv kept this knowledge from me

**Muffin:** im sorryy

**InspectorLyf:** please no

**Muffin:** [picture of Jon in Jonny d’Ville makeup sleeping on Georgie’s couch, the admiral in his arms.]

**Muffin:** [Jon and Nikola arguing about something in the back with Basira in the front taking a selfie.]

**Muffin:** basira said they were arguing about frog facts

**TimStonks:** LOOK AT HIM!! OUR BOYFRIEND!! SO CUTE

**InspectorLyf:** why am i being tortured

**TimStonks:** u love us <33333

**InspectorLyf:** unfortunately

* * *

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**furry:** gross i just saw jon tim and martin on what i think was a date

**SishSash:** oh yeah tim mentioned him harassing jon into going to Five Fields with martin

**ProfessionalArsonist:** that fancy restaurant a few streets up from the institute??

**SishSash:** yeah!!

**furry:** damn hes got budget

**SishSash:** nah he found elias’ credit card on the floor and me and him guessed his code

**furry:** SERIOUSLY THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY

**MelQueen:** fuck elias bouchard rights the bitch tried to offer me a job and then called me incompetent.

**WhatTheGeorgie:** ill kick his ass

**MelQueen:** muah

**GpJordan:** oh yeah melanie i saw ur stunt on twitter

**furry:** FSHDFSGD

**WhatTheGeorgie:** oh my god it was amazing the amount of dms i got from concerned fans was hilarious

**MelQueen:** quite iconic of me if i may say

**WhatTheGeorgie:** you may!

* * *

**Private message to why is she still a cop**

**InspectorLyf:** daisy we need more batteries

**furry:** on it

**furry:** how was ur date?

**InspectorLyf:** how do u know i was on a date

**furry:** i walked past u and waved but u three were too absorbed in staring at ur s/os that u completely ignored me 

**InspectorLyf:** oh shit im so sorry

**furry:** no worries, i too, was once young and in love

**furry:** [Picture of daisy wistfully staring out of a window]

**InspectorLyf:** dais, not to like, pop ur bubble

**InspectorLyf:** but you and basira arent technically dating

**furry:** oh shut up

**InspectorLyf:** and you say i’m bad with communication

* * *

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**InspectorLyf:** so uh

**InspectorLyf:** guys?

**ProfessionalArsonist:** what did you do now

**TimStonks:** are you okay are you injured

**InspectorLyf:** no im fine !!!

**furry:** its uh

**furry:** nothing big?

**ProfessionalArsonist:** …

**InspectorLyf:** okay dont get mad

_ InspectorLyf has added BookLover69. _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the chapters r taking a bit longer!!!! im alternating the mental breakdowns with listening to the percy jackson audios books! i apologize! but plot stuff >:)
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits
> 
> AND I WANNA THANK EVERYONE FOR OVER 900 COMMENTS AND OVER 12000 HITS!! When i started this dumb little crackfic i was really sad and didnt expect anything much to come off of it but ive met so many cool people through the discord server and i never imagined people would be so nice, so thank you everyone, i love and care about every single one of you who read this word dump onto a page and found it entertaining <3


	40. Rootbeer Tea and WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT??

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**TimStonks:** whooo is that

**furry:** …

**InspectorLyf:** …

**ProfessionalArsonist:** who.

**InspectorLyf:** _jurgen leitner_

**TimStonks:** the creepy book dude??

**BookLover69:** Ah. Hello!

**Muffin:** Why what uh what the heck

**furry:** we found him in the tunnels

**InspectorLyf:** he was eating expired cereal bars

**BookLover69:** Oh _I’m sorry_ , you weren’t the one stuck there for years for fearing of being beat up!

**InspectorLyf:** why exactly were you there in the first place

**BookLover69:** I was in hiding!

**InspectorLyf:** from the goth kid that beat u up and thought you were too pathetic to actually kill you?

**SishSash:** where uh… exactly are you right now?

**furry:** we’re in the tunnels

**InspectorLyf:** pretty sure we’re lost 

**BookLover69:** So. Now can i explain things?

**InspectorLyf:** is it necessary

**BookLover69:** Yes.

**InspectorLyf:** okay i guess

**BookLover69:** So.

**furry:** go on

**BookLover69:** _Will you let me talk._

**furry:** …

**BookLover69:** Thank you.

**BookLover69:** Now, as i was saying before i was _rudely_ interrupted by your friend Jonathan here to tell me that this needed to be written down,

**BookLover69:** Your world is ruled by 14 different… Entities. 

**BookLover69:** Gods of fear if i may say it like this

**BookLover69:** I, once upon a time, had a vast, full library of books! These books were manifestations of these entities, but alas, my big library was destroyed!

**ProfessionalArsonist:** we literally dont give a shit about your library tell us about the fear god things

**BookLover69:** All of you are so uncultured and rude! Wow!

**BookLover69:** So yes, there are 14 of them! Each, feeding on different fears coming from humans.

**SishSash:** like the knife hands dude?

**BookLover69:** Ah, Michael, was it? Yes. A perfectly good example of the spiral. And an absolute bastard if i do say so myself.

**MoisturizeMe:** Oh this is Not Good! Ew, Jurgen Leitner? Stupid, Motherfucking Jurgen Leitner??

**BookLover69:** Hello Nikola. What a… Displeasure to see one of the stranger. I almost got my face ripped off by whatever is kept in that table. I’d like to lodge a complaint.

**MoisturizeMe:** You Probably Deserved It.

**InspectorLyf:** wait nikki??? ur uh

**MoisturizeMe:** Yes! It is what i have been telling you for Years! I am Plastic! I am of the Stranger

**InspectorLyf:** excuse me i need a moment daisy come with me i need a smoke and if i have to continue looking at the poor book collecting dust eating rat old bastard i might use this pipe i have on him

**furry:** god please

_InspectorLyf and furry are offline._

* * *

**SishSash:** are they still alive its been almost half an hour

_InspectorLyf is online._

**InspectorLyf:** someone MURDERED jurgen LEITNER

_furry is online._

**furry:** WHAT THE HELL SIMS I LITERALLY JUST WENT BACK UP TO TAKE A PISS

**SishSash:** what the FUCK IS GOING ON 

**ProfessionalArsonist:** DO I NEED TO CALL IN??

**furry:** PLEASE APARENTLY THERES A MURDER???????

**InspectorLyf:** HELP I AM SMALL GAY AND AFRAID

**TimStonks:** what the fuck we were just taking a nap

**MoisturizeMe:** Oh! Thank The Clowns That Mother Fuck Is Finally Dead!

**MelQueen:** hello id like to know what the fuck is going on

**furry:** give me a moment

_[Furry started a call that lasted an hour]_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clarify daisy started a call to explain everything to everyone bcs im too lazy to actually type things. at this point they know about smirks 14 and the fucked up books. jon has his suspicions that elias killed leitner and gertrude but he's not 100% sure. yes he's going on the run bcs people think he's a murderer. no it doesnt make sense fuck off he's hot when he's on the run.
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	41. Ceylon Tea and Text to speech, really?

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**SishSash:** how u holding up jonny boy

**InspectorLyf:** dont call me that

**InspectorLyf:** how do u THINK im holding up im on the run from the entire police force except basi and dais

**WhatTheGeorgie:** hes been sitting on the couch with the admiral for the past 32 hours playing a game

**WhatTheGeorgie:** what was it 

**WhatTheGeorgie:** hello charlie? is that it?

**InspectorLyf:** It’s [hello charlotte](https://etherane.itch.io/hello-charlotte-ep1) you uneducated heathen

**MelQueen:** sims no offence but ur a loser for someone suspected of murder

**InspectorLyf:** for the last time i-

**InspectorLyf:** i hate all of u

**InspectorLyf:** Tim, Martin, are you coming over tonight?

**Muffin:** yes!!

**Muffin:** Tim says yes too but he’s having a staring contest with david from research

**InspectorLyf:** what are they betting on

**Muffin:** The last after eight

**InspectorLyf:** wish tim my luck

**Muffin:** I will!

**WhatTheGeorgie:** I assume we’re going out tonight then, Mel?

**MelQueen:** yup! That indian restaurant we’ve been talking about?

**WhatTheGeorgie:** Hell yeah

**SishSash:** why is the chat full of gays today

**furry:** ur just salty ur single and havent asked rosie out yet

**InspectorLyf:** daisy! 

**SishSash:** 🖕

**InspectorLyf:** how is uh

**furry:** ur murder investigation?

**furry:** managed to get them to stop actively searching for u so u can probably go outside now

**furry:** who knows u might have to dye ur hair again

**InspectorLyf:** im not dying my hair

**Muffin:** ‘why not it would look hot, wait- again?’ -Tim

**InspectorLyf:** tell tim that he can text basira if he wants pics of when my hair was pink

**Muffin:** you had pink hair????

**InspectorLyf:** unfortunately

**InspectorLyf:** anyways since i can go outside, im gonna go look into these statements

**SishSash:** are u sure that u should be investigating random statements that r being sent to you in the mail??

**InspectorLyf:** If i die i die

**Muffin:** NO

**InspectorLyf:** :/

**SishSash:** god ur a mess

* * *

**“Sasha told me to do it”**

**WhatTheGeorgie:** jons a fucking idiot

**TimStonks:** what did my darling do now

**MelQueen:** stop it tim i can feel ur heart eyes thru the screen

**TimStonks:** middle finger emoji

**MelQueen:** i fucking hate you

**WhatTheGeorgie:** he shook the fire lady’s hand in exchange for one of the 

**WhatTheGeorgie:** vast? sky? skyfuckers im gonna stick with skyfuckers

**WhatTheGeorgie:** location 

**WhatTheGeorgie:** so now he has third degree burns all over his right hand and he wont stop complaining

**InspectorLyf:** Duck You George

**WhatTheGeorgie:** he’s using text to speech

**InspectorLyf:** It Was Viral Information That I Pleaded From Judge Perdle

**SishSash:** idk why but thats fucking sending me why cant jon use tts all the time

**InspectorLyf:** Duck You Yasha

**WhatTheGeorgie:** siri rlly aint got his back 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for not updating sooner i unfortunately have fallen into hello charlotte brainrot. please play it the first game is free. theres a link sttached to when jon says hello charlotte ;)
> 
> but yes! please join the discord!! i love talking to everyone and u should definitely bully me into Not Forgetting my fanfic exists
> 
> Discord: https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E
> 
> Instagram: @LyingInSpirals/@goodbye.spirits
> 
> Twitter: @goodbyespirits
> 
> Tiktok: @goodbye.spirits


	42. Tuscan Sun Tea and why. why this.

**“god damn it elias killed jurgen leitner”**

**firesimp:** sometimes u just gotta torture the archivist

**firesimp:** hes kind of a dick

**firesimp:** also sorry mike hes on his way to u

**Flash:** seriously jude??

**Flash:** i never asked to be here and now hes gonna fucking slurp up my trauma like a slime smoothie

**firesimp:** :/ sowwy

**MoisturizeMe:** Elias i Still find it Quite Rude that you framed Jonathan for Murder!

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** Too bad, It was necessary for my plans

**MoisturizeMe:** you Suck.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** I happen to, yes, when Peter is over.

**firesimp:** PLEASE NEVER SPEAK AGAIN I AM GOING TO LIGHT MY EYES ON FIRE I DONT WANT TO READ THIS CHAT EVER AGAIN.

**Plukas’ sugar baby:** :)

_ Plukas’ sugar baby is offline. _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm vewy vewy sorry for this incredibly short chapter but i have nothing else prewritten :(  
> i'm on holiday for another week and a half and paying an outrageous amount of 3 quid an hour to be connected so i havent been able to write much bcs im dumb and only have my fic on google docs!  
> I've been very unmotivated to write too recently since my focus on tma is slipping but dont worry i will be finishing this fic! i swear!
> 
> Love all u funky dudes <3 Join the discord! talk about tma! and other things like food crimes! <3!!
> 
> https://discord.gg/yyQ3H7E


End file.
